Eve Of Destruction (Diabolik Lovers Fanfic) #justwriteit

everything exposed

I sat in my bed. I've been sitting here straight up for a while, deep in thought. I haven't gotten much sleep. All of them...they all remember me now.
What do I do now?
Do I still carry out my plan?
Would they turn on me if I told them what I was really up too?
Can I even trust them now?
I was giving myself a headache with these questions.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Would they forgive me?

I finally stood from my bed and walked out into the hallways.
How am I supposed to act with them now? Its been so long I've forgotten how to interact with friends. All my life I had to be obedient and do as told...but now, I can be myself......can I really do that?
As I got closer to the dinning room I could sense the mukami. For some reason I felt nervous. My fingers started to tremble and my heart raced. I kept trying to compose myself as I got closer to the door frame.

Kou: no, come on I barely had any~
Yuma: your being to damn greedy, your plate is full of food! Stop eating everything before everyone else!
Kou: but first come, first serve...
Yuma: still using that as an excuse? That's lame.
Azusa: besides...rose still...hasn't made it....to the table.
Yuma: yeah, leave some food for her too.
I tensed. Their waiting on me?
I finally walked into the dinning room.

Rosalina: hello everyone...
They noticed me.

Yuma: ah, hiya Rose.
Kou: hey Rose-Chan. Come sit next to me~
The atmosphere has changed now. It feels weird....and awkward. But I casually take my seat on the left of kou. Right as I sat a plate full of food was placed in front of me. I looked up to see Ruki, he had his calm and composed face as he's always has most of the time.

Rosalina: hello Ruki...and thank you.
Ruki took his seat after. The table was lively as usual. Kou complaining about not having enough food on his plate. Yuma scowling him for being greedy. And Azusa just being transparent.
Could these old friends possible still be trustworthy. I mean they live to impress Karl. What would they do to me if they found out I was planning to kill him? Could I.....could I lose them again?
Ugh, my head!
I was so deep in thought I didn't notice everyone was staring right at me.

Ruki: rose, what's the matter?
Rosalina:....nothing. I'm fine.
I attempted to play it of by starting to eat my food. For a second, I didn't notice kou touched my shoulder, and instinctively I flinched up, letting out a loud gasp and dropped my fork onto my plate. My hands started to tremble again but I quickly hid it under the table.

Kou: Rose, your jumpy. Something is clearly wrong.
Azusa: what's...wrong, rose?
Rosalina: ...I'm just....readjusting...
I halfway lied. I scanned all their faces, they all looked worried for me. But...

Rosalina: ...None of you.....are mad at me?
Yuma: What the hell would we be mad at ya for?
Rosalina:...it's all my fault your all in the positions your in. Because of me, everything has changed. Everything that's happened to you is my fault.
I was so close to mental breakdown here. All the memories started to come back. All my guilt. My mind racing now.

Rosalina: and you all know, how can you just play this all off?....Yuma, I was the one who burned your village. Kou, I was the one who gave you the fork and tempted you to gouge your eye out. Azusa, because I didn't help you I made you into who you are. And Ruki...I was the reason behind your father's death!
I couldn't stop myself from crying. My while body shaking from fear. Even though I caused all these event....Karl Heinz was the one who planned them. I was so naive back then I didn't know the lives I was shattering. But Karl made me believe it was all my fault For so long. I couldn't bare the guilt anymore.
Did I just wanted to Come clean?
Did I just wanted to remove this guilt?
...or do I just want them to hate me?
It grew silent. The eerie silence nearly makes me lose my mind. Why was I breaking down now?

Rosalina: how could you all possibly consider me you friend when I've done all this?

Suddenly, I couldn't sense everyone. I looked up and everyone was gone. It only made me cry more. They'll never forgive me now.

Rosalina:...I'm so sorry....
I then stared to feel blood drip out of my mouth.
Oh crap...
My body tends to make two times more blood than it should.
I covered my mouth. My vision went shaky and the room started to spin. I let out one cough, and my whole hand filled with my blood, dripping everywhere into my clothes and the table. Before I knew it...everything went black.