Catoniss: Love Untouched

Chapter 1

"She's not the same," Haymitch warns me telling me not to go and look at Katniss. Or visit her.

"I don't care, Haymitch I have to see her!" I say through gritted teeth helplessly begging me for me to see her.

But his grip doesn't loosen on my arm. He looks me in the eyes and for once I can see how much pain is in them. He went and seen her earlier.

His grey eyes meet mine and he shakes his head again. "If you see her, like that," he starts and pain fills his eyes worse than what there was.

I stop him before I see the Haymitch Abernathy break down in front of me. "How long? How long until I can see her?" I ask him not looking him in the eye.

"I will tell you when I know for sure, you have to stay strong Cato, for you and everyone," he tells me and walks away.

I hear loud sobs being muffled by the door connecting to Katniss's room. Effie's in there right now.

"Oh sweetie, my poor baby," is all I hear with sobbing. I close my eyes shut and clench and unclench my fists as I clench my jaw.

Katniss... I can't even think of her name without flashbacks hitting me. I could've saved her, but instead I stood there watching.

"Please move! Open your eyes! Something!" I hear Effie yell frustrated as my sobs come out of her mouth, followed by a chair screeching on the floor, and foot steps.

I see Effie open the door, and look at me, her eyes red, puffy, and her face stained wet from crying.

I close my eyes and open them when I feel a hand on my arm. "Stay strong Cato," is all she says as I hear her walk away.

Since Katniss has been in the hospital, she wears black flats, that turn into fire and red and orange clothing. Cinna made the whole clothing for her, stacks of clothes just like that.

Even blue jeans, and grey shirts! Then she'll wear regular leather boots. No wigs, no crazy make up.

She's different, Katniss changed her. She changed everybody.

I'd like to think she changed me, but sadly I know she didn't.

Should I go see her? I've been standing here, outside her hospital room door for hours. But am I ready? Should I leave?

Haymitch walks past me and in the room. I hear him sit down and a loud shatter. I can tell its glass.

He threw glass. I want to open the door so badly but decide against it. The girl I love or loved is behind there. Do I still love her?

I think so. But I've been doubting that ever since I seem her getting attacked by the mutts. I could've saved her. Love makes you save people right?

Then why didn't I? I tell myself I love her and when I look at pictures of her before the games, I remember who she was.

Not who she is now...