chasing zayn || four

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AN: I had planned to update by 11:59 just before the first day of the year ended, but I'm not gonna lie; I was drunk. So I'd planned to instead update earlier today but we went on a little impromptu road trip, and the Wi-Fi was spotty, so I wrote on road and published when I got home.
Enjoy :) Happy New Years.

I was right.

"Niall Horan has a Breakdown during Interview."

At least it didn't say Psychedelic?

I feel like I'm back to square one, Zayn's just left, and I'm the crying mess I was before. Except this time I'm not crying, I just have this constant sinking feeling in my stomach. That feeling when you feel something is gonna go bad. People are gonna misconstrue my words, twist them.

I can see it now;

"Niall Horan throws Shade at former bandmate!"

I sigh, looking at my phone, it's 9'o'clock at night. I haven't left my room or let anyone in. Harry's stopped by my room on a few occasions, outside my door telling me how he understands.

Differences, Harry, Differences.

What that means? I still don't know.

I heard the door click open, I didn't move to look cause it was probably Liam who finally decided to use the keys to get in. I heard the door click back closed and lock. No other sound but silence. After a minute or so of the silence my curiosity got the best of me. I pulled the blankets down, and levelled myself with my elbows.

He let out a hearty chuckle, "Hey Ni."

"Uh—" I clear my throat, "Hey Zee." I take not of how my face must have confusion written all over it so I offer a small smile. Of course I was happy to see him. I couldn't lie if I wanted to because there was speed up in the way my heart was beating. If I anything I think I need one of those hugs. I get up from my bed my legs a little weak from their lack of use. He laughs at me, earning a glare from me. I open my arms, he gets it and moves toward me. There was a familiar warmth and the smell of his polo cologne filled my senses.

Nostalgia.

I miss this.

Dammit I'm crying again.

"Niall." Zayn says, a little laugh escaping him, "Why're you crying?"

I miss you idiot.

"I miss you idiot." I say out loud this time.

He laughs more, holding me out in his arms, "I told you, you could come over to mine anytime."

"I'm not exactly, supposed to be interacting with you right now, management wants us to distance ourselves but still make it clear to the media that we support you." I explain, and he has this 'oh' expression on his face.

On another note, "What're you doing here?" I ask him.

"About that, I watched you and the lads' interview. I was planning to come over anyways but Harry called me, he insisted I come see you. Looking at you, I should've been here sooner."

I ponder upon this. I look at the mirror on the dresser and see the image of us two, and I finally take a good look at myself, I look sick.

I don't like that I make him worry.

But I'm happy that he's worried?

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