chasing zayn || ziall || discontinued

chasing zayn || seven || zayn

AN: ;) because I love you all.

|||ZAYN|||

There's been one constant thing on my mind.

Niall.

My former bandmate, I can't even lie and say that it's sudden. It's been this way since we met backstage on
X-Factor. It's the simple fact that I never acted on it. I've come close to telling him a few times, but I've always backed out. I think the most confidence I ever conjured up was the kiss at that New Year's Party. That's if I can even count that part though. I was "Drunk" and Niall says he was too, but I know he wasn't. The fact that he didn't even want to acknowledge what happened is what shot down my confidence even more.

A lot of the reason I left is because how I felt for him. Even if there was a slither of a chance that Niall felt the way that I felt for him.

Management would've never let us be.

All they care for is business.

Doesn't matter how you feel or what you want, while under contract you're subjugated to their whim and rule. You're not allowed to feel for yourself.

It's why I had to get out of there.

That and I really did want to take a new direction in music, when I proposed my ideas to management. They were always shut down. I deeply regretted hurting the boys the way that I did, I deeply regret hurting Niall the way I did. It's my biggest regret. But it's okay cause even now that I'm out the group I still have him. Of course I don't have him. But the friendship is still there, and it's still there with Harry. As for Liam? That's unclear and for Louis? His Twitter rants were clear. I sit up in my bed, throwing one leg after the other over the edge of the bed my bare feet touching down on the carpet. I'd been laying in bed for almost an hour contemplating and going over a lot of things happening lately. What to do about my feelings, and the fact that I'd be starting on my music soon.

My phone chirps beside me.

I pick it up.

My eyebrows raise at the text.

From: Ni Ni 💕
MSG: outside.

I get up, pulling on a pair of sweatpants leaving my chest bare. I didn't know he was coming, but I didn't mind either way. I pad my way out of my bedroom in the silent halls of my spacious home you can hear the reverberations of my feet hitting against the wooden floors.

The little creak in the stairs, as I descend them.

I open the door, I was prepared to see the glow in his bright blue eyes, but was instead met with a solemn look on his face. I watch as his Adam's apple bobs when he gulps, his jaw tensing in the process. He doesn't say anything and neither do I, I only step aside, opening the door wider to let him in.
He walks past me, not a single word escapes his lips yet. I close the door, and turn around to face him.

It happens so fast that I'm unable to fathom in the fact that it's happening.

Niall is kissing me.

It's rough and full of mixed emotion.

He nudged his head, in hopes to get a reaction to arise from me, and I react. I can't lie and say I haven't wanted this for years.

Niall pulls away abruptly, my mouth still ajar. He walks away, gripping at his hair. He groans, I follow behind him while he traverses about my living room.

"Zayn I—" Niall starts his voice breaking mid-sentence, he looks at me, and everything I've ever felt for the boy in front of me hits me harder than ever as he looks at me with the most broken look I'd ever seen. I don't like it.

Closing the distance he'd created between the two of us, I place a finger under his chin when he looks down, making him look at me.

There's a silence again, a necessary silence.

Every one of my next moves I make, I make cautiously. Afraid to shatter this fragile moment.

Cautiously, I lean down and kiss him, this one filled with every emotion I've felt for him over the course of five years.

Cautiously— not wanting to overstep— I skip a hand up his shirt, resting on his waist, rotating my thumb on the patch of skin it rested on.

Niall pulls away again, I almost whine, but don't when I hear his next words.

"Take it off." Niall mumbles, I search his eyes for earnest confirmation before sliding a thumb under a hem on each side, lifting his arms so that I can slide the fabric over his head. He repeats my movements.

I mentally revel in this moment.

Chest to Chest.

Skin on skin.

Lips on lips.

One of my hands grip at his hair— earning a moan— while my other slips down to the small of his back. His hands are burning holes in my sides.
The feeling of his hands on my bare skin luxuriant in every way. He surprised me when his hands begin to slide down to the hem of my sweatpants. I kiss along his jaw, and down his neck, bruising the skin.

The other side of his neck.

His shoulders.

His collar bones.

"Off." He whispers against my lips, when he's reached my sweats.

The surprising turn Dominance in the situation surprising me. Causing me to ache. Breaking apart again he aids me in the removal of my pants, eye contact not faltering in the slightest. I'm the one that breaks contact when I look at the happy trail along his naval. The tide of Dominance comes back to me as I push him onto the nearest couch. I lean down staring at his chest, I nibble at the skin near his nipple. His moans egging on my actions. I take the sensitive skin into my mouth swirling my tongue around it. He's almost screaming in the ecstasy of it all, and believe me I'm screaming with him. Down his chest, I pepper more and more kisses, licking a stripe along his stomach, as he tenses. I leave lovebites all over the area right above hem of his pants. My hands work at the button, sliding the zipper down, I do the same to his pants, sliding them down his legs.

My mind's racing when I hover my mouth over the fabric separating me from the obvious bulge.

Management would hate this.

I skip a finger under the fabric—

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

The whole situation before me fades away, and I'm back in my room. Back in my bed.

No Niall, just me, and the remnants of my lucid dream.

I've got it bad.

—

AN: I'm so.. so.. soo.. Sorry. Don't kill me.