Worth it

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A/N: Slightly late thanks to my parents kidnapping me and holidays being the usual shitty time of relatives that suddenly remember you exist. So yay.

Small, bit fillery but I think cute update for y'all. I was nice. Satan wishes a merry fucking Christmas to all of you <3

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No one had prepared Scott for the mixed feelings that came with being a parent.

His mom, his sisters, his friends, all of them had warned him that he would likely be overcome with affection for his newfound son, a type of love different than any other he had ever experienced before. He had listened carefully, remembering the bright adoration that he had seen in his sisters' faces when their babies were born, the new light that had shone in their eyes, the sweet words pouring out of their mouths when they talked about their children.

He knew that the feelings that had hit him the first time he had seen Jamie were a clear example of what they were talking about: the sudden urge to cradle the toddler in his arms to show him the world for the protective nest of his embrace. He had never felt a connection like that before, a sensation of unconditional want to be in someone's life. He had been in love, he knew what it felt like.

It had only taken two specular blue eyes and a pure shining smile for Scott to completely fall, a love that had nothing to do with passion, a love that came from deep inside. A feeling more visceral that he still didn't know how to explain, words unable to describe it.

And yet, it was nothing compared to how he felt now, only a couple of days into this new unexpected life. If he thought the affection he had felt for James that first day had been overwhelming, he couldn't even begin to process it now. The genuine love was growing bigger and bigger with every passing hour, taking over his heart in a way that might have been frightening if he had been aware of it.

Scott kept telling himself that it was crazy to feel like that for a child that he still barely know, but in his heart he knew that it was completely natural. He had expected to get more attached to the boy - he just never thought it would be in such an exceptional way.

What he also hadn't expected was the sudden feeling of inadequacy.

He had been so focused on the legal paperwork to recognize Jamie as his son that he had forgotten the doubts and fears twisting in his stomach, putting them temporarily aside to concentrate on the most urgent matter. Now that the baby was finally his, that he was sure he had every legal right to take care of him, he didn't know if it was really the best decision.

No one had told him how low is heart would sink the first time that Jamie woke up crying in the middle of the night, how all of his blood had gone cold as he had run to his room, almost tripping in his haste to reach the toddler. He would never forget how his chest had tightened painfully as he had scooped the child in his arms, rocking him while murmuring sweet nothings, everything he could think of to try and stop the tears rolling down his puffy cheeks.

How his heart had broken as Jamie started calling for his mom, desperate sobs and small fists closed in Scott's shirt. How he had felt helpless watching his son cry about something that he couldn't understand, calling for someone that would probably be able to comfort him in a way that Scott didn't know yet. How he had been relieved when Mitch had quietly walked up to rocking chair and retrieved the toddler from his shaking arms, a look of understanding and sadness in his eyes as he started singing in a soothing voice.

He had been unable to leave the room, tears threatening to appear in his own eyes as he kept witnessing Jamie's desperate sobs. Even after Mitch had been able to finally calm him down, and the child managed to fall back asleep, Scott was deeply shaken. Every fear and doubt he had bottled up had surfaced and left him breathless, hitting him with the force of an avalanche, not sure that he would ever fully re-emerge.

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