It's You (Lucaya Fanfic)

5 (Maya)

He's gonna know something's up. I shouldn't have snapped at him. I lost control and I snapped at him. I was jealous.

I was jealous?

I don't even know. All I know is that one moment he was dancing with me and then a moment later he told me that he was too chicken to ask Riley to dance. And it just made me so mad. He could have her and he already does, but why is he still so insecure and shy around her? They can be together and it's easy.

But me, everything about my situation with him is complicated and far from easy. Just the fact that I like him is making my whole life hard.

I wouldn't even be able to tell my best friend about the guy I like because she likes him too. Which makes this situation even more unbareable because Riley and I talk about everything. But ever since I started to feel something for Lucas that's changed and it just makes me feel so bad and exhausted about the whole thing.

But looking back I never actually thought that Riley and I would be in this kind of position. With that, I don't even want her to know that we're in this position that's why I'm never telling her. It's going to make her sad and that is the last thing I want.

What's the point even in telling her about my feelings if it's not gonna go anywhere. Lucas likes her and not me. No point at all.

---

The whole weekend I didn't talk to Riley. She noticed of course, by 4 pm on Saturday I had about 5 missed calls from her.

I just wanted some time alone you know? To think things out about my feelings for Lucas. The dance brought me to a place in my life where I am completely and utterly confused. I am terrified of the decisions I need to be making.

For the past ten to twelve years I have always had it in my mind to put Riley first. That in whatever situation both her and I are in, I will do my best to keep her as she is, happy, and that is what I have done. But right now is the first time where I'm thinking twice about putting her first.

I've never thought twice about keeping Riley happy before.

Right now all I think I want is to be able to talk to Lucas, honestly, about why I snapped at such a random subject about her relationship with Riley. But I also want to hit the back of his head playfully and tell him, "Huckleberry! Are you blind? Or simply just playing dumb? I like you goddammit. Have you seriously never figured that out?"

But for a thousand obvious and really painful reasons that will absolutely never happen. Ever.

I could make a thousand mistakes in my life but it would never come close to how much I will regret doing that. Riley really likes Lucas, she might even love him. I can't do that to her. I will not do that to her.

---

"Yearbooks! It's year book time!" Riley says excitedly as she hands yearbooks out to students in our year. "We will finally know how we're gonna be remembered and how people in our class think about us. Yay!" She yells hyperactively in front of a person she's handing a yearbook out to. The girl couldn't look more confused.

"Riley, it's just a yearbook and it's just a bunch of stupid labels that are given to us. Not that big a deal." I say to her with shrug.

"Maya, I like knowing what people think about me. It's comforting." She explains with a smile.

"What if what they label you as isn't comforting? What would you do?" I ask her teasingly.

Her face falls for a second but she smiles again. "I'm sure it will be fine." She turns to her lockers placing the yearbooks that will have to be given out later. "WILL IT?" She says out of nowhere in panic while slowly turning to me with a worried face. "What if- what if they think I'm annoying and just say completely awful things?" She pouts.

"Then they'll hear from me." I reassure her. She smiles.

---

"Maya, Lucas, congratulations on winning favorite couple," Heather, the girl behind Lucas announces in the middle of Mr. Matthews' lesson. What the?

Mr. Matthews stops and immediately looks at Riley. She already has a shocked expression on her face and she's just staring at Heather like she has something unusual on her face.

Why did she just say that? Is that actually possible? Our classmates actually see Lucas and me as a couple?

I turn around, "How is that possible?" I look around the room to see how everyone is reacting to the announcement Heather just made. "How could anybody see me and Lucas as a couple?" I say as I gesture to Lucas and me.

"Everybody does," Heather answers like it's just some normal thing. And everyone is just nodding and agreeing. Everybody?

"You guys are so cute together," Sarah, my seatmate, announces then Heather shows the page for favorite couple in the yearbook. The picture in the yearbook of Lucas and me is the one from when we sneaked out of detention. I was mid hahurr on Lucas' face. That picture's cute.

Damn it Maya. Stop.

"But we're cute together," Riley speaks up, trying her best not to look upset. "Lucas and I are so alike."

"And they're so different," Jane, the seatmate of Heather, says strongly. Do they actually want Lucas and I to be a couple?

"But we're like a summer rain," Riley argues again, this time her expression getting less and less positive.

"And they're like FIRE." Sarah says with a big expressive hand gesture.

Now Riley's expression just falls and she turns around to face her dad. "Mr. Matthews I think we should continue the lesson." Mr. Matthews nods.

"Riley please don't be upse--"

"Maya I'm okay." But the sad look on her face tells me otherwise.

***

So, this took long. Midterms just came up. But anyways. It's here. Enjoy!

-ntbr