Bite my tongue? I'll never put myself in pain. Both Physically nor Verbally.
-- Charlotte
I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of being disrespected. I'm tired of being treated like I'm not worth shit. If Mama knew I was living like this she'd whoop my ass. I bet she's turning over in her grave right now.
I let go of a breath I was holding in my chest as I stood up from the white leather chair that matched everything else white in my living room. I've always loved the color. It's so pure and real -- something my relationship with Quadir isn't.
When I walked down the mirrored hallway of my two bedroom apartment I caught a glimpse of my reflection and stopped. Starring back at me was a pretty young woman that don't look a age over twenty-six. A woman with a flawless, very light brown complexion. She has dark brown eyes, neatly arched eyebrows, narrow pointed nose, full lips, and last but not least, a killer smile. She's beautiful, this she knows, but how on earth is it possible that a man can make her feel so ugly?
I turned away from myself, holding my head down to avoid the other mirror on the opposite side of me. I walked past the empty bedroom that I recently turned into a office and into the bedroom that I sleep in.
My eyes land on the sleeping man that's resting peacefully in my bed. I love him... I love him so much that I hate him. His light skin that matched mine seemed to glow in the dark almost. He's the definition of a high yell'a nigga. With his handsome, pretty boy features it was no wonder how easy it was for me to fall for him back in the day. Those were the best days.
I flipped on the lights causing Quadir to open his eyes and squint at the light above.
"Man, what the hell?" He grumbled, tossing onto his side. His eyes opened and squinted at me. "Letta, man cut the lights off. I'm tryna sleep. What you doing up anyway?"
I went farther inside of the room. "Waiting on yo' motherfuckin' ass to come home, nigga," I said calmly.
He smacked his teeth, "I told you not to wait up. I was at Club Rain--"
"And you know how me and the boys get," I finished for him, copping a attitude. "I don't want to hear that shit, Quadir, 'cause I know you was wit' a bitch."
"What bitch?"
"Nigga, you know which bitch you was with!"
He smacked his teeth again, got up from the bed and turned the light off while mumbling, "Man, I'an got time for this shit."
I waited until he got underneath the covers and real comfortable before I went over and flipped the lights on again. "Which one was it this time, Qua? Keisha? Kim? Kat? Or was it that bitch from the other day in Richmond?"
"Cut the light off, Charlotte," he said calmly with his back still to me. I know he was getting mad 'cause he called me by my whole name.
"No," I said.
"Charlotte, cut the fucking light off!" He yelled, flipping towards me.
I flashed a evil smile. "Make me, wit' yo' hoe-ass."
Quadir shot up from the bed and pushed me so hard I flew back into the hallway, my back cracking one side wall mirror.
"Yo' dumb-ass play too much!" He yelled at me before slamming the room door. I saw the lights turn off from the small light that was coming from underneath the door.
I tried to twist the doorknob open, but it was locked. "Locking the door like a li'l bitch!" I yelled. "When you open it in the morning I'ma be standing right here with a knife, nigga. I'ma be waiting on yo' ass like Chucky!"
I gave the door a hard kick before I left, knowing he ain't about to open the door until he get his sleep in. I went into the kitchen and got a can of Sprite before sitting on one of the leather couches in the living room.
Quadir might treat me like shit, but I try my hardest not to let him get away with it. Out of my three sisters, I was always the one getting in trouble about my mouth. I can't hold water, as the old folks would put it. But I like to put it as a free speaker. I don't think about what I should I shouldn't say -- which is my downfall. From day one, I've been that way, I never took no shit, and I refuse to take it now. Quadir wants to hit me? Okay, we just gon' be fighting in this bitch. Quadir wants to curse me out? I'ma curse his ass out harder. That's just not for Qua, its for any and everybody.
I reached for the TV remote on the coffee table and turned the flat screen TV on.
A black man and a woman that was robbing a gas station was on the TV screen. Breaking news was flashing on the bottom of the footage.
"Give me the money, partna'!" The man that looked homeless yelled with a gun pointing at the Arab man behind the bullet proof glass.
The woman that looked just as dirty as the man began to beat on the glass. "Don't make us bust this *beeeep* open!" She screamed in a squeaky voice.
"That's Oink Gas Station up the street," I revealed out loud to myself.
My eyes almost jumped out of my head in surprise when the Arab man pulled out a shoot gun from underneath the counter.
"Damn! That's Asad!" I yelled in shock at seeing the Arabic middle aged man that always flirts with me when I'm paying for my gas.
"Get out!" He yelled. "Get the heck out, losers!"
I laughed loudly as the man and woman ran out of the store without a thing and the video ended.
"World's most dumbest criminals, I swear," I joked, wiping my watery eyes.
"Jenna Green better known as Nena and Jerry Green Jr. better known as Peanut are reportedly mother and son," the woman news caster said from safely behind her desk, "If you know anything about this attempted robbery, please do not hesitate to call 256-93-CRIME."
The News went to a commercial and I went to a new channel while sipping my Sprite. I blew out a boring sigh, man, this is going to be a long night.
