Prologue

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I hid behind the couch, peering over the back, clutching my blankie tight to my chest. I was biting my lip in nervousness - a bad habit according to Mommy, one she tried to get me to stop doing. My eyes were wide in fear. Mommy and Daddy fought plenty of times, but never as bad as this. Mommy was crying, throwing anything and everything at Daddy. Yelling, screaming, and many bad words were said to Daddy. Daddy looked at her with sadness as much as anger. He wasn't yelling like her, but he was using harsh words. He kept ducking away from the flying objects aimed at him, and he tried several times to get close to her. Mommy wasn't having that. She jerked a lamp off the little table it sat on, causing it's plug to break free from the wall, then threw it at him as well. It contacted his shoulder, but Daddy didn't show any sign of pain.

The screaming, the crying, the cursing lasted for what seemed like hours, until Mommy ran out of things to whirl at Daddy's head. Daddy hunched over in relief and was about to say something to Mommy until she beat him to it.

"Just get out," her words cut the air like blades, "and take that skank in the car with you!"

"I'm sorry, Helen - I didn't mean for this to happ-"

"Shut the hell up and get out of my house!" She managed to find one more thing to throw at him - my dolly, Tiffany, that Daddy had got me for my birthday last year.

Daddy sighed as Tiffany thumped against his chest. Looking down at my dolly that now lay on the floor at his feet, he said, "Can I at least say good-bye to Ni-"

"No!" Mommy screeched. "You don't have any right to her anymore. I don't want you near her."

Daddy became angrier than before. "She's my...."

"I don't care! You'll obviously have others with her. Sons too I bet."

"Helen-"

"Get. Out." She sneered. "Your stuff is on the porch waiting for you."

Daddy turned to the front door. "I'll send money."

"We don't want or need your damn money!" She picked up Tiffany and chucked her at him again. "We want nothing to do with you!"

Daddy slowly nodded and without another word left the house, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Mommy was silent until the sound of a car door shutting and the roar of an engine starting, then the sobbing began. She went over to the cabinet that her and Daddy kept locked and drew out one of the glass bottles that they told me I wasn't allowed to have. Locking the cabinet back up, Mommy shuffled back to her and Daddy's room, shutting the door behind her. She stayed in there for the rest of the night.

I stayed behind the couch for a while longer, confused and frightened. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what Daddy did that made Mommy so angry the second he came home from work. I'd never seen Daddy leave home so soon after just getting back. I crawled out and went to the window that looked out to the front yard. Climbing up so I could sit on the ledge, I stared down the street, looking for Daddy. Waiting for him to come back home. I waited all night.

The next day, and the day after that, it continued the same way it had that night. Mommy would grab a bottle and go back to her room, I'd wait at the window for Daddy. Soon, this became our routine. Auntie Beth, who was Mommy's sister-in-law, would come over every day to make sure me and Mommy were eating. She'd help me get ready for the day, and since it was Summer we'd spend the day either at the pool, or we'd go to the park. Sometimes we'd go to Auntie Beth and Uncle Jake's house, because Auntie Beth would say Mommy needed some time alone.

I heard Auntie Beth and Uncle Jake talk about Mommy losing her job, because she hadn't been going to work, and because of that, we needed a place to stay. I loved their house, but it wasn't home. Mommy and I moved in with them, and we stayed there for a few weeks. After a while Uncle Jake told Mommy she needed to get up and get a new job. Uncle Jake made me leave the room so he could talk to Mommy alone. Whatever he said, it seemed to work, because Mommy got a new job as a waitress - they wouldn't tell me where - and soon we moved into a small apartment that she said was close to her work.

Mommy still took a bottle to bed with her every night, but she managed to get up early enough to help me get ready for school each morning when fall came. I was a kindergartner and excited to go to school. Auntie Beth picked me up from the bus stop every day since Mommy was at work, and she would stay with me until Mommy got back home around six.


And so life continued. I stopped waiting for Daddy and Mommy continued to get better.







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