Take Back

Chapter Three

*Adam's POV*

Rose opens the door for me as I walk up the stairs to my room, ignoring the concerned looks from my parents. I sit down on my bed and put my face in my hands, sighing heavily and rubbing my temples. Rose shuts the door behind her silently, standing there for a few moments without saying anything. My head is pounding. If it was a few months ago, normally right now I would be blacking out and flashbacking to the past, but my medication keeps that from happening; all I have is a headache.

My heart still rapidly beats and my hands still shake because of my depression pills, and I'm beginning to question their strength. I squeeze my eyelids together and try to inhale deeply, but the leftover aftermath of my sobs still prevents me from easy breathing. My chest's heavy and my stomach flips and turns; I grab it with one hand and cover my mouth with the other. Rose slowly walks over to me with light footsteps and sits next to me, massaging my shoulders. The tender gesture unexpectedly causes a tear to slip and jump from my eyelashes.

"Oh, Adam," she murmurs under her breath, leaning her head against mine. I sniffle and wipe my eye with my thumb.

"I can't believe he brought that up," I whisper, shivering, biting my tongue. I wasn't lying when I said that there wasn't a day where I don't hate myself for grabbing him. There isn't a night that I have that doesn't have me praying that he would forgive me for it. Another salty water droplet falls down my cheek.

"Neither can I," Rose admits, looking away. "Tommy has... he's changed a lot." I nod my head slowly, feeling exhausted and disappointed.

"I know." She didn't have to tell me. I know Tommy isn't what he's been before I went to rehab, but I can't help but think that it has something to do with me.

Actually, I think it has everything to do with me. What he said to me when I came home sadly but surely made a little bit of sense, and, looking back on it and mulling over it these past days, it keeps making more sense. Tommy was, more or less, used to his life before me, and then was happy and content with us just being friends in the early stages of our relationship, then the drama started happening and I turned him sour.

I drove him to the point of breaking, I didn't trust him as much as I should have, and I lost control. It wasn't his fault he got sucked into my mess. It's kind of unfortunate he loves me; all of my mistakes come with that. "I shouldn't have called him a cheater like that. I know he's sorry for it." Rose freezes and pulls back from me, looking at me with a confused look.

"If he was sorry he wouldn't have kissed Allyson like that in front of your face," she states dubiously, letting a little bit of rage cause her to snap. I push my eyebrows inward, shifting to face her slightly.

"What?" I ask. I don't think I heard her right.

"Sorry," she apologizes, brushing the hair out of her face, "I know Tommy must be sorry." So I did hear her right. I don't want to believe it, but she has a point. I grope the back of my mind to defend him.

"He was just overwhelmed," I said. I'm not able to look her in the eye and my gaze falls to the ground. I was overwhelmed, too, wasn't I? Hell yes I was. I wasn't planning on seeing him at all but when I did I remembered that Kris had said just to do something. I trust Kris, and I believe he's right, so taking that I built up the courage to talk to Tommy. And how did that turn out? Like a burst of flames in my face. So yeah, I could positively say that I was quite a bit more than overwhelmed. And did I grab Rose and kiss her?

...No, I didn't.

Rose begins to say something but I cut her off.

"I don't know if I really feel like talking about this," I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. She sighs again and runs her hand through the back of my hair, soothing me somewhat.