Hate

Chapter 4

Nate laid motionless for hours until his alarm sounded off. Not a wink of sleep did he catch. Though it had been a week, a tiresome week, his mind kept replaying his argument with Brie. 

Why was this bothering him so much? Was it because for the first time, Brie called him out on his true feelings? Or maybe because that was the first time he lied straight to her face. 

Of course, he would choose Cold. He wasn't an idiot! However, he knew he didn't deserve someone as good as her. 

He deserved Brie. Someone he loved who didn't love him back. He didn't deserve love or happiness. He deserved to suffer for his selfishness. 

He hated her. He hated himself for how pathetic he was. He hated how drastically his life changed after Jason's death. He hated that he had no one to blame but himself for the death of his best friend. 

He just wanted to be angry and self-loathing today. No facades. No fake smiles or laughter. Just pure suffering.

So, he decided to skip school. 

He obviously couldn't do his self-loathing at home, his parents would be concerned. Hence he'd go to his comfort place.  Unlike all of his friends and his past self, that wasn't the beach. 

He'd go to the forest. Yes, the forest. It was the only place he could scream, curse, and punch anything without anyone worrying about him. 

It was the place where he could self-harm in peace.

Gaining a small essence of motivation, he reluctantly rolled out of bed and got his pathetic self cleaned up.

~~~~~

"Ryan, get your disgusting hands out of my hair!" Cold barked at Ryan. 

She didn't mind Ryan playing with her hair. He was always gentle with her curls. However, she and Ryan had a love-hate relationship. It was always more fun to bicker with Ryan than be nice to him, in her opinion.

"But it's so soft and bouncy." Ryan whined, "Why don't you want me to play with your hair? I like it.  I want to rip it off your head and marry it." He said with a longing look in his eyes.

 "Gross," Jaycell commented, taking a sip of water.

"You know," Ryan said twirling Cold's hair around his fingers, "if it was Nate, you wouldn't have a problem." 

An air of silence hung over the table.

"First of all, Ryan has a point," Jaycell commented, pointing an accusing finger at Cold, "Secondly, Where is Nate? I don't think I've seen him all day."

"Yeah, where is he?" Ryan asked.

Feeling all eyes on her, Cold looked up from her books. "Why are you all looking at me? I don't know where he is."

"You usually would," Jaycell shrugged.

"Maybe he's making up with Brie," Cold said annoyed, rolling her eyes so hard, it hurt.

"Ou, someone's jealous," Ryan sang, swinging a leg over the bench, and straddling it. Resting his head in his palm, he leaned closer. Jaycell also leaned closer, a smirk playing on her lips.

"I'm not jealous," Cold stated matter-of-factly, "I just don't understand why he chose to stay with someone who constantly hurts him. She doesn't love him!" Cold shouted. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself. "I just hate that he's settling for someone who has proved that he's just an option. He doesn't deserve that," she finished with a slouch.

"Trust me, I know exactly how you feel," Ryan sighed.

"Maybe we should call him. Just to see if he's okay," Jaycell ordered pulling out her phone. Everyone huddled together so they could all be seen on the camera.