Last Fall

Peace Sign

We got back to Lowell late, or rather, early morning. We drove through the night and collapsed into my bedroom growing up when the sky was still obsidian. I rolled out and onto my rug covered hardwood floor, landing with a groan. "I wanna watch the sunrise." I informed the dead weight body still in my bed.

"Alright." She joined me on the floor and we stood up together.

"I swear I have the muscle to do this, but I lack the energy capacity." I helplessly pushed on the window.

"Move over I'll do it." She laughed and shoved the glass pane upward. We sat hip to hip on the slanted gravely surface. I sighed at the orange colored sky.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Sunrises personify bittersweet." I shared. "Because they mean the moon is setting and I hate seeing the moon leave." I looked at her to find her looking back at me. "The hardest good mornings are the ones followed with goodbye, so" I bit my lip, mentally preparing my proposition. "I'm going to sell my apartment and-"

"What- I mean, why? I understand if you want to start fresh or move back home, but if you leave New York you'll be so far away again-" she was trying to be supportive, but I knew she hated the idea of reinforcing distance. I did too.

"I'm staying in New York. Here isn't home. You are." I cut her off. "I'd like a new apartment... But I'd like for you to live in it with me." I added quietly. "You don't have to say yes. I know stony brook is your home and-"

"Yes. Hell yes. You're my home too. I'd love to have a permanent residence that's not mine, not yours, but ours."

My smile turned watery from dry. "I promised myself if you agreed I wasn't gonna cry. I swore I was above this."

"Stop it." She fanned her face. "I'm serious omg you're gonna make me cry too."

"Did you just real life abbreviate 'omg' what the fuck is wrong with you?" I giggled and pressed my face into her shoulder, suddenly too giddy to contain. "I love you so much Lexa."

She wrapped her arms around me and laid back against the roof, pulling me with her. "I love you too Lynds."

-

We slept into the afternoon until the sun's angle was the correct degree and blinding light shone into my adolescent cave. "Turn it off." I whined.

"Nope. Up we go." She threw me over her shoulder before I could anchor myself. She carried me down the steps and set me on the counter. There was a note on the fridge from my fam letting me know that they'd be back in a few hours and the time stamp was from the morning.

"What do you want to do?" She asked after I handed her the post it.

"I need to make things right with the boys, but that's a reunion I don't know if I'm ready for because I'm at a standstill with music. Writer's block I suppose. Anyway, there's still shit I need to do and people I need to see before I rededicate myself to the band." I said solemnly.

"It's good to see you taking a step back and not pushing yourself to outgrow your limits yet. You need to readjust and learn how to cope with everyday life in a healthy way before throwing yourself onto the road again."

I nodded. "You help me put what I want in perspective. Always have." My phone ringing caught me off guard. "What are the odds?" I mumbled at the caller id.

"Hey. I was about to text you."

"Were you now?"

"I'd say lay off the sarcasm, but I more than deserve it."