Words can't describe how shitty I feel about myself.
I pace around my room as I pull at my hair.
I wanted to kiss Nate. I really did but I couldn't ruin our friendship. It was going good. All I knew and consumed was me fucking things up and I just couldn't with Nate. Call me selfish but I just couldn't.
It hurt seeing how hurt he was. I was playing with his emotions.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
A tear dropped from my eyes and I furiously wipe them away. I am not mentally stable to handle this.
I just honestly want to be in a warm embrace of Nate. My head against his chest as my lungs fill in with the perfect delicious cologne scented on his shirt. His hand smoothly running through my hair soothing me down. His lips pressed against my forehead. His breath fanning my ear as he whispers "it's okay."
I use to hate the phrase "it's okay" but something about it coming from Nate's mouth as he speaks the words so softly, it makes it feel better, like its true.
I had to make things better. At least make him know I wanted to. I need to explain myself. I owe it to him.
I quickly grab my car keys and jointly head to my car turning on the engine and heading straight to Nate's house.
It only took 15 minutes for me to arrive. I pause for a mine t an check myself out in the mirror. Should I really do this?
Yes. Don't chicken out. Tell him.
My subconscious beats me and I entered the driveway and head up to his door.
I knock on the door waiting for an answer that didn't return. I knew he was home.
I couldn't wait nor could I be rejected from him. I needed to explain myself.
I open the door and barge in.
My stomach drops at the sight of Nate with another girl.
(a/n: wow so long updating my books. all of them hooray! if ur a fan if daddy guess who updated a second chapter. yeah yeah it took so long but at least it's up. created a new book I adore u check it out Luke Hemmings ff. vote for this chapter and more shall come.)
- bri
