Not Of Language

3.

We arrived home and we were all overly happy that school was over. We stepped inside and just threw everything on the floor. Our house was pretty far from our high school and we were exhausted.

Both of us had always been amazing brothers towards each other and we're always there to help one another, even though Hunter rarely agreed with me. He still listened.

We were inseparable, we would always stick together. All three of us came even closer when one of the three had a problem. No matter what, we would always go out together and have fun and go on mini adventures, pull a few pranks on a couple of people. That was my favorite part of it all.

"You guys are amazing," people said.

And of course they were right in terms of amazing siblings.

Unfortunately, I was the one with the problem this time and so there they were, Hunter and Sierra. Sierra had already been at the house when we'd arrived.

"Everything will be fine", She told me, trying to calm me down while we sat on the couch.

Sierra's voice always made me happy and got me to relax.

"I mean, why is it? I just don't understand why they act like that. Don't they want a boyfriend who they actually like and who actually likes them?"

Sierra just nodded.

"I mean, I'm a girl. I would know, okay so they just want someone that everyone else will be jealous of if they had. Ya know, I mean you play football and your attractive. So football means you're big and strong and you're team captain so you have to keep your grades up so you're smart too. You're nice also so you're just an all around great guy. Don't sweat it, if they don't want to get to know you for you, then it's their loss."

I smile. She was right and I agreed.

"Yeah, probably. Thanks guys. Imma go do my workouts upstairs, call me if you need anything." I stand from the couch and head upstairs. They creaked slightly under my feet.

I took a deep breath, stepping into my room.

I was all ready to start but then I realized that I had forgotten my earbuds downstairs. They were in my book bag. I was much, much too worn out to head all the way back down.

Deciding to rely on the last option, I open up my mac book that had been lying on my bed since this morning. I really didn't care what songs played as long as they were music so I just chose the 'random' icon on my song list.

Before I could begin my workout though, I was message bombed with tons and tons of Instagram and Facebook tags and snapchats. I figured I was just having a busy day on social media but that's not what I found when I checked them.

On Instagram, I was tagged in dozens of hateful posts. Things like pictures that said, "Fake people should really get a life" or, "People think they're cool but they're really not."

I just kept going through all of my tags and I was just flooded with hateful posts with even more hateful comments. There was one particular post that caught my attention. It was of my freshman yearbook picture. Someone had inserted a speech bubble that read, "I hate all nice girls who ask me out."

The comments included things like, "Oh I saw that!" Or, "Yeah, that was terrible, I can't believe him."

This continued for maybe an hour; me checking every post, text, and tag. Of course it made me mad but nothing was worse than the post someone had made on Facebook.

My username was linked to a post from an anonymous page that said, "Please do everyone a favor and kill yourself. Please."

I paused at this. The only thing I could think to do was screenshot it. I'm not sure what I planned on doing with the screenshot although.

Tears filled my eyes but I refused to let any fall. I hear the bounding of footsteps up the stairs before Sierra and Hunter burst in.

"Kade, did you see the..." Hunter's voice trailed off as he entered. "Guess so."

"I'm sorry, Kade." Sierra apologized. "Just don't listen to them."

I loved her support but how could I just ignore them?

We were all interrupted by a sound from downstairs.

Ding Dong. The door bell was ringing.

"It's the pizza, I'll get it." Hunter said his last few words before heading back downstairs.

Sierra stayed back, however and sat next to me on my bed.

"Kade, you know not to do that, right? You know it's not okay to hurt yourself." She said simply.

"Of course I do, I just...I don't even know." I was so confused. I just never thought people would do this.

She put a hand on mine and squeezed it gently.

"Just relax for awhile. I'll bring you up some pizza." She them stood and exited.

I sighed deeply, closed my laptop, and laid down.

What If I did kill myself? I wouldn't though. I mean, well maybe but...I...nah.

I began thinking rapidly and debating with myself. No matter how hard I debated with myself though, in the back of my mind, I knew I'd never really hurt myself.

Right?