Late Night Wondering

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'In Memory of Alan Rickman - one of the greatest british actors of all time' 

I headed out of the common room, and as soon as I left I was aware of just how loud the party was inside, as there was now a buzzing in my ears that would not go away no matter how silent it was now. Silent it was, because the party had been going on a lot longer than I thought it had and all the students had now retired to their dormitories and most likely to sleep. I, however had more pressing matters to attend to then sleep. Hermione. 

After witnessing Lavender and Ron, I could understand why she was so upset. I know what she is going through as I witnessed it myself last year with Cho and Harry. She was in love with Ron, even if she wouldn't admit it - even to herself. It is hard to fathom the pain you feel, that gut-wrenching feeling you get in your heart when you see the person you have so much admiration and respect for in the arms of another, and although always the one to give solutions, Hermione still has the pressure of teenage trauma, just like everyone else in the school. She is a problem-solver and this problem can not be solved by the wave of a wand. I needed to find her and persuade her to tell Ron how he feels, I'm sure he was just caught up in the moment or something like that. 

It was a lot easier to find them than I thought. In just under fifteen minutes I was outside the unused classroom, where I knew Harry and Hermione were, I knew because I could hear their hushed voices through the door. Something about the way they were talking made me halt in my tracks. I don't know why I didn't just go straight in but something stopped me as I stood listening through the door.

"Harry, how does it feel when you see Dean with Ginny?" Hermione asked. "I see the way you look at her."

The way he looks at me. How does he look at me? She had to be lying, Harry didn't like me, he didn't look at me nevermind like me. Hermione must just have got something wrong, but Hermione is never wrong. There a first time for everything, I suppose. My mind was working at a thousand thoughts a minute, a blur of emotion unable to be distinguished as one thought or another. So much so, that I didn't hear the sound of someone making there way down the corridor until it was nearly too late. Quickly, with the heavy sound of footsteps I darted behind a nearby pillar to hide, not bothering to check who was coming in case it was a Professor. Walking around after curfew would earn me a detention, or worse if it was Snape. However, it wasn't a professor, instead it was two people I definitely didn't want to see right now..... Lavender & Ron. I should have known by the high pitched girly giggling coming from their direction. Unfortunately, they headed straight into the classroom that Harry and Hermione had already occupied and rushed through the door before I could so much as blink an eyelid nevermind attempt to stop them from entering. 

Coming out of my hiding place, I hurried back to the door to listen in. 

"Oh, it looks like this room is taken..." Lavender sounded somewhat awkward at the situation. 

"Oppugno!" Hermione shot a spell at the couple, however it was not one which I had heard before so I couldn't understand it's effects. When Ron emerged he was a little ruffled, so I assume that whatever the spell was, it seemed pretty violent, and if I was Hermione I would have done the same thing. AFter that I assumed the conversation regarding my relationship with Dean was over, therefore I would be able to casually enter as if I had heard nor seen anything. It seemed I was wrong however as I almost missed Harry, speak due to almost inaudible whisper. 

"It feel like this ."

I froze. My brain and body were unable to function. I couldn't begin to comprehend what I had just heard. It felt how? How? I just didn't understand anymore, I didn't understand Harry at all and more than anything I needed to understand what he wanted from me. Dean, was my boyfriend but I would always love Harry, it was just the question of whether he would actually reciprocate the feelings  when it came down to the yes/no moment. 

"Miss Weasley!" Busted. 

Professor Snape, dressed in his usual sweeping black cloak was stood not 5 feet away, and I hadn't even heard him approach. He had  jet black, greasy looking hair, which fell just short of his shoulders, paired with a large pointed nose that gave him the appearance of a wicked wizard like the Muggles thought we looked like. One thing that was not the norm was the expression on his face, instead of the usual sneer that pulled across his upper lip,  was a look of sadness I had never seen before on his face. His eyes, typically black emotionless opals, were laced with despair and loss, emotions that were becoming more and more common while the dark times approached. 

"Professor?" I asked, as he had now not said anything for a few minutes and was just stood watching me, eyes glazed over in a most uncharacteristic manner. 

"You look so much like Lily."

I gasped. Snape, the professor who hated Harry most out of all the school had just compared me to his mother. I was so astonished by this sudden revelation, I froze for not the first time, unable to look away from the sadness in his eyes.  Confusing as ever, the look on Snape's face was gone so quickly I could have imagined it. 

"Now, get back to your dormitory! And if I see you wandering out of bed again, I will not hesitate to have you expelled!" 

There it was, back to the same old Snape, we know and hate. His command was cold and his eyes had returned back to their usual stony black, his sneer now plastered onto his lips. Not waiting to see is he would say anymore, I ran back to the common room as fast as I could. The party was still going strong however I no longer felt like celebrating so started straight up to the dormitory I shared with Emily and Alex, both of whom wanted to know where I had been but I couldn't tell them - not yet. I myself, was too confused to comprehend what I had learn't in both occasions this evening and wanted chance to align my thoughts before they were dampened and stretched by the opinions of my friends. I didn't know what to think about Professor Snape, but I would never tell a sole of what he said to me today. I figured I owe him that. 

Slipping into my nightwear, I went straight to bed, where I was harassed by nightmares and visions of the days to come, weeks that had passed and Severus Snape repeating six words over and over in my head like a broken record. It would not stop and I would not wake until the dream was over. 

You look so much like Lily. You Look so much like Lily. You Look so much like Lily. 

A/N:

This is only short so I wanted to get it up as quickly as possible. So sad to hear of the loss of Aland Rickman. Nobody could have played Severus Snape as he did. 


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