Remember to Breathe

Drown Me

It wasn't meant to happen, not in the slightest. The night just slipped, fell away from my grasp in bright lights, smoking breaths, and bitter fruit flavored liquor.

It was then that I saw you for the first time since the whispers. You were sprawled out on a ratty, crumbling sofa with a cast on your left arm and a tray on your lap.

Your eyes were clear pools of black, pupils blown out to reflect the night sky. But, you seemed to see me for the first time, or so I thought.

With a slender finger you beckoned me closer, you smiled like I was the sun come to bring you warmth in the cold winter.

You called me Curly like you had known me for years, asked if I had birds living in my hair or little gnomes with red hats.

I was so, so, so gone, lost, yet relieved to see you, to know you were alive, that you weren't just a ghost in my thoughts when I wished I could think not.

You told me you wanted to show me something, to give me a special treat because I was sad, because being drunk some times just isn't enough to get you up.

I remember the feeling of your hand on the back of my neck. It was cold, frigid yet present all the same as I breathed in just a little of your dust, as I let you drown me for the first time because I was too intoxicated to realize the mistake.

In that moment, I was lost, in the dark and afraid. For the first time, I understood what it meant to be found, to feel up, up, up despite reality pulling me down, deeper, and deeper into the dark.

You were there and you were warm.

You were blue, I was green, and we were alive.

--
Harry Styles is almost twenty years old when he tries the whitest powder with the boy with blue eyes. It isn't what he wanted, not what he dreamed he would do. He hates to admit it, but for this he might just let Louis Tomlinson drown him, drag him down, smother him with the dark because he feels at ease, peaceful among the demons and the chaos... But the boy with the blue eyes is seeing him and that will drown him out completely.