There are emeralds in your eyes, clean cuts of gems too expensive to buy, and this feeling in my chest is swimming, turning, burning its way through my lungs.
It was a test, a trial to see if you would really do it. I wanted to see if you would breathe the powder in like a fresh breath of air because for once you looked as low as I always seemed to feel.
If you refused, I might find it in my empty soul to reconsider... Reconsider everything, the powder, the needles, the boy who knew too much.
To my surprise, delight, dismay, you didn't walk away. I placed my hand over the back of your neck while you inhaled, felt your muscles shift, and wordlessly begged you to stay away.
I don't know your name, don't know your face, but the emeralds in your eyes, I might just be able to place from late nights at the coffee shop, in the rain at the bus stop, somewhere, somewhere so distant from now.
If I could, I would ask you to go, maybe find someone to sober you, but I can't, can't find it in myself to help you.
Maybe I'm not really here at all, merely lost in the seas of your eyes. I may be drowning myself, but boy, you're the one pulling me under.
--
Louis Tomlinson found his way back to the boy with the powder and the needles as soon as he checked out of the hospital. Zayn -- Zayn begged him to try something else, to try to find other ups, the normal ones from life, the ones he used to find when he would run up and down the pitch or the ones he would get when he would brighten someones day with their coffee order. He tries to tell Zayn that those things don't work, that somewhere along the line everything fell apart, that he can't remember how to make a simple espresso, that he can't find the names of his teammates or their faces in his memory. He seems to only find himself deeper, sinking ever quicker down into the dark. He knows that his last true friend is gone now, finally had enough of him and disappeared into the day, the day he can't place, can't remember. There's someone else here in the dark with him now though, someone who feels familiar but he knows somewhere, some part of him insists, begs him to let this boy know he's better, that he doesn't have to find his highs in the dark like he has for so long. Yet, it feels better to know he isn't alone, that he isn't the only one who can't find his way out.
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Remember to Breathe
FanfictionHe wishes he could stop the things -- the things, he's sure are everywhere, anywhere, nowhere, but here. He falls into another bed, another place, he doesn't even think he knows this boy's name. No one seems to notice, not the brothers of the frater...
