Marney in the Middle

Chapter 29: For the Best

When I open the door to the principal's office, I freeze. Reese is here. I mean, of course he's here. Where else would the bad boy be on a Monday morning?

Leave it to a chance encounter to throw Marney 2.0 off her game. Instead of waltzing in and taking a seat beside him on the other chair, I just stand in the doorway like a gaping idiot. He's cuter than I remember. Or maybe it's just my guilt that makes him seem that way. All innocent and fragile. His hair isn't disheveled in its usual fashion; it's actually smoothed down. His face is downturned as he studies his hands.

Just do it, I command myself. It's only Reese.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the overwhelming urge to flee, I settle onto the stained, greyish two-seater couch.

"Hey," he says as soon as I sit down.

Setting my book bag down at my feet, I glance at him. A flip. Go for casual and pretend I didn't realize he was there; seems like the least suspicious thing to do in this moment.

"Oh, Reese, hi."

There's a shy smile playing on his lips. He shifts on the chair, straightening up as he looks me up and down. "What're you doing here?"

I flash the pink slip I got from Herkabe and point toward Mr. Luke's office door.

He nods.

My heart stammers low in my stomach as I force my gaze to my lap. Taking out my fiction binder, I pretend to be invested in the first story. I'm not. The ink seems to seep together into an unreadable mass of black.

It shouldn't be this difficult. With Malcolm, I just came out with it. Told him I want to forget about what happened and that was it. So why is this like torture?

Tucking my chocolate brown hair behind my ear, I peek at him.

Another flip.

His greyish green eyes are already leveled on me.

My mouth opens as if to speak but I snap it shut. Nope. If I even try to talk to him, I'll word-vomit the whole Donny thing. And then he'll really hate me. Yesterday was awkward, sure. However, admitting to Reese that I spent a good majority of his party drunk and making out with some random dude (as Malcolm put it) would make yesterday seem like nothing at all.

I just can't face him hating me. It would hurt too much – him and me.

My gaze darts to his lips. He licks them before they settle into an almost pout. Flutters in my stomach catch my breath in my throat as I think about our first kiss. My first kiss. I can't go from that bliss to him despising my guts for essentially being a cheater.

I force a smile and quickly return to the random page I've opened to.

The principal's office door opens to his left. Carolina Frisbee emerges, her beehive of dirty blonde hair not moving once as she looks me over with an uninterested expression. "May I help you?"

"Um, yes, I'm here to see Mr. Luke."

"He's with a student," she says and starts toward her desk. After she's plopped onto her stool, she doesn't look at me to add, "You can wait there."

Duh, I want to retort. But I keep my mouth shut. Toria instructed me to be flippant only when the situation called for it and only when it would best benefit me – like with Herkabe. I have to catch a giggle behind my teeth as I remember his annoyed expression.

"What's so funny?"

I jump. Reese changed seating to sit beside me on the couch. Glancing at Carolina Frisbee, who's not watching, I whisper back, "Nothing."

He shrugs before he starts tearing at a fray in the couch's old, old fabric.

At this proximity I can smell his cologne. Has he ever worn cologne before? I can't remember, but whatever he's wearing now makes my heart flutter and abdomen squiggly with tension. Ugh.

Last night, Toria told me to handle Reese however I wanted. Assignments 1 through 3 were on hold, so there was no requirement for me to keep things up with him. Yet I wanted to. Dramatic and complicated or not, I like Reese. He's so interesting and, of course, cute. A great kisser and fun in a 'we might get arrested' way.

Then I saw him.

My mind can't fend off the guilt that plagues it.

I don't want to hurt him with the truth, and I certainly don't want to lie to him. It's only right that he should know. People should be honest with each other. Or as honest as this makeover will allow.

Tugging on my t-shirt's hem, I force myself not to look at him. I'll give it a few days. Let the events of Saturday roll into the past more before dumping that drek on him. It's for the best, I tell myself over and over.

He's doing the fidgety thing he did yesterday morning now. Rubbing his palms on his thighs and gazing at me in intervals when he thinks I can't see him. I gulp. For the best and it will get easier, I tell myself. And it'll only be a few days till things cool off.

Reese starts to say something but Carolina Frisbee snaps her fingers. We both look at her.

"They're waiting for you, Reese," she says. She's pointing toward the principal's office with one of her pudgy, red-painted fingers.

"Judgement day," he mutters.

My mind snaps alert. Judgement day? What does that mean? As he gets up and slumps toward the principal's office, I sit up straighter and try to peer around the door. I get a glimpse of Lois, who smiles and offers me a wave. Gulping, I return it. More guilt and lies.

It's not for the best. You're just a coward.

Before I can figure out what Reese meant, Mr. Luke's door opens. I manage to conceal my groan of annoyance at that poor timing.

Picking up my stuff, I come face-to-face with Toria. She appears as surprised as I feel. Cocked eyebrow, wide eyes and mouth stuck between a gape and a smile.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss.

My older sister regains her composure effortlessly. "Routine credit evaluation. All seniors have to do it."

"Oh." That makes sense. I think she may have actually mentioned that on the ride to school this morning, but I'm an arse who was too wrapped up in my own stuff to pay attention. "Sorry," I mutter.

She waves her hands dismissively just as Mr. Luke appears in the doorway and motions for me to go in. Whatever this is about, I'm already 90% sure I don't have the energy. Not after seeing Reese. Stealing one more glimpse of the closed door he's now behind, I sigh.

This sucks already. Even if it's for the best.