Chapter 39: The Truth

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Reese doesn't look up when I knock on the doorframe of his bedroom. He's perched on the edge of his bed, dangling an action figure by the leg in front of him while twisting off its head. Delightful.

I clear my throat, "Hey."

He glances up at me with those greenish grey eyes and all I want to do in this moment is be near him. Rush to him, throw my arms around his neck, and yank him into a kiss. But I don't because this isn't one of those movies where people tell their feelings in the rain.

He doesn't acknowledge my presence aside from the glance. Turning his attention back to the action figure, he gives one final twist and its head pops off. I sigh and roll my eyes – that's a terrifyingly accurate metaphor for this moment.

I hear Lois opening dresser drawers in her bedroom and since I don't really want to risk another conversation, I quickly walk into the room. Well, in as quick as I can manage without breaking my neck or twisting my ankle.

The floor is covered. I literally can't see the wood under layers of laundry, books and magazines, stuffed animals and more action figures, shoes, sports equipment, and dishes. I clench my jaw, ignoring a pair of boy briefs on my way to where Reese is perched on the edge of his bed. Pushing aside a damp towel, I settle beside him and put down my book bag.

"Do you have to clean?" I ask.

He shrugs while torturing the action figure.

"If it has to be done before we can get started, I can help."

Another shrug. Dear gods – could he make this anymore difficult?

I study him and nibble my bottom lip. Reese is wearing a baggy yellow shirt with a burgundy stripe across the middle and a pair of jeans. All I can think about is him shirtless like in the dream. We're close enough that are thighs touch, and it sends little waves of warmth through me. I gulp; this is it. Now is the perfect time.

"Reese," I say in a small voice.

He doesn't look at me. "What?"

"Can you stop for a sec and just look at me?"

He does stop, but he doesn't' look at me. Resting his hands, mutilated action figure and all, in his lap, he keeps his gaze downcast. I guess that's the best I could hope for.

"Reese, I have to tell you something," I say slowly.

"You like Malcolm, don't you?"

My heartrate spikes – huh? I quickly shake my head while stammering, "What? No, that's not it at all."

"Then why have you been avoiding me to spend time with him?"

Oh, geeze. I hadn't even considered how it might look to him for me to be friends with Malcolm. Is this why Toria advised me to stay away from the younger Wilkerson? I shake my head and slip my hand over his.

"It's not like that," I say. "I wasn't avoiding you to spend time him – it just so happened that I spent time with him . . . while avoiding you," I trail off.

Wow, that doesn't make it sound any better.

Reese pulls his hand away to toss the action figure on the floor. Crossing his arms, he scoots a little away from me on the bed. It hurts, causing my heartrate to spike again.

You deserve it, my inner critic mocks, you should have told him from the very beginning instead of avoiding him like a coward.

As much as I hate that little voice and I hate to admit it, it's not wrong. This mess is my fault. But I'm going to fix it.

"But you were avoiding me," he mutters.

I nod. "Yes, I was."

"Why?"

I take a deep breath – here goes:

"I was avoiding you because I was afraid of telling you the truth." This catches his attention and he finally looks at me. It's more of a sideways peek, but I'll take it. "The truth about what happened the night of your party." My heart's beating so fast I swear Lois in the other room can hear it. "The truth is... I kissed someone else."

Reese is dead silent. He doesn't move or react in any way.

"I'm so sorry. I mean, I know we're not dating so it's not like what I did was cheating or anything, but it felt like it. You invited me to your party, and we had our first kiss and it was wonderful and perfect, but then I just went and made out with some guy. And I felt so bad about it because I didn't—don't want you to hate me." He still hasn't moved. My chin's quivering and I actually feel like I might cry, which makes me feel foolish. "Please," I say in a low voice as I grab his hand, "please, say you don't hate me. I wanted to, I was going to tell you – I just kind of freaked out."

I chew the inside of my cheek to keep from rambling further and wait. Maybe he just needs time to process; I mean, I did kind of drop this on him.

Reese looks down at our hands. His brow furrows as he studies them with squinted eyes, then he begins to spin small circles on top of my thumb with his thumb.

Waves of warmth and a flip.

"I know," he says.

I blink. "You know?"

He gives a small nod. "I saw you . . . with him."

My heart stops, blood running cold. He saw me with Donny. Saw me kiss him, wrap my arms around him, saw—the heat drains from my face—when he slid his hands up my thighs?

I pull my hand away and stand up. I'm not really sure why because Reese is utterly calm and that should be a good sign. It means he at least doesn't hate me. Right? But, for some reason, the idea that he saw me kiss Donny at that stupid party makes me feel ten times worse than I did before. I trudge through the mess to the bathroom door to steady myself with the frame. Because I avoided him for almost five days, leaving him only with the image of me lip locked with some other guy.

Before I can figure out how someone would even go about apologizing for something like that, Hal bursts into the room.

"Oh, Marney, you're here."

I straighten up, trying my best to keep my expression neutral. "Um, yeah." I glance back at Reese, who is staring at his dad. "We were just about to get started after we cleaned," I say quickly since Reese is of no help.

"You're a gift, do you know that?" Hal asks, but I can tell it's rhetorical. He's breathing heavily, brow slick with a thin layer of sweat and clothes splattered with dry paint.

"Everything alright, Mr. Wilkerson?" I ask, frowning at him.

"Yes," he says. "Yes! Everything's perfect." I jump as he claps his hands together mad scientist style. "It's done."

I shake my head. "Huh?"

"Come on," he says, eyes twinkling, "let me show you."

Hal disappears before I can respond. He shouts "and call me Hal" from the hall.

I turn to Reese and shake my head in confusion. He shrugs. Standing up, he heads for the door to follow his dad. I catch him by the arm. "Can we finish this conversation later?"

He shrugs again and says, "Whatever."

I sigh and follow him out. At least it's all out in the open now, I guess. There's that at least.

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