No reply

Chapter ten

((A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is sort of everywhere guys, let's just call it a very long filler chapter I guess. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. Oops. Some drama coming in chapter eleven, so stay tuned!!))

___________

Part ten- John

___________

With the sound of one of Elvis' newer songs playing in his room, John lay in his un-made bed with a pillow over his face, trying to block out any thoughts and just let the King's voice take him off to some other place, one where he didn't have to worry about the somewhat queer experience he'd had with his younger bandmate. It was exhausting to think about, and even more so it was frightening to him.

He wasn't about to let this go any further...

what if someone expected something was going on between the two of them?

That would be completely disastrous and it wasn't a chance John was willing to take.

Suddenly he felt sick to his stomach, like someone had punched him in the gut, knocking the breath out of him. How could he have been so stupid to go along with this? How could Paul, of all people, his immovable heterosexual friend, be stupid enough to kiss him first? It was wrong and should have never happened in the beginning. Paul may have started it, but John was going to end it, and pretty damn soon.

He decided that when he saw Paul again, he would confront him, bring up the unspeakable topic, and make sure that his doe eyed idiot of a mate never spoke a word of it. He thought he could do it, intimidate Paul enough to make him forget the whole situation. He was certainly not going to go to the McCartney's house though, he would wait a while, let the shock of what he had just done die down before asking Paul to come over to Mimi's house.

This had to stop.

Under all of Lennon's armor and his cold hearted, undeniably powerful persona, he was shit scared of this situation he'd gotten into. Not to mention the fact that he had to stop himself right before he'd almost wanked off to the thought of his best mate, he was feeling particularly frustrated with himself right now. When he did talk to Paul, he really hoped that everything would be alright afterwards, that Paul would understand and they could go back to normal. If you could call their previous relationship normal, that is.

Writing songs, being comfortable around each other and laughing their arses off at John's inappropriate jokes. That's how he hoped it would be, none of the awkwardness that seemed inevitable if he even mentioned the two of them kissing. Now that he thought it over more, it would only make sense if Paul didn't want to be his friend anymore because of this. For all John knew, Macca could be fuming in anger, upset with him for acting so queer.

He wouldn't be surprised if he left. Everyone always left eventually.

Every single bloody person he cared about disappeared from his life.

John was a jinx to those that mattered to him. First uncle George, then his mum, now Paul. Go figure.

He sighed into his pillow and turned his static filled radio up louder, mad at himself for doing such a lousy job at not thinking.

_____

Paul

_____

Paul brought his hand up to his mouth unbelievably, his fingers trembling against his lips. He closed his eyes and swallowed dryly, trying to come out of his state of shock brought upon by John. As soon as he felt somewhat recovered, he stood up and ran to the hallway, wanting to stop John from leaving. It was too late though, Mike had just let go of John's sleeve and began walking up the stairs again while Paul made a quick retreat back to his bedroom, his head spinning wildly as he shut his door and locked it, leaning against the cold wooden surface.