Chapter 5

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As those words came out of his mouth, i pulled apart and looked at him. He has his cheeks stained with silent tears and his blue, shiny eyes were red. I took my hands to his face, cupping it softly. He closed his eyes focusing on my fingers who were exploring his face. My hands traveled from his cheeks to his jaw, and when one of my fingers rubbed his lower lip slowly, his eyes opened abruptly. He looked through my soul, exploring every inch of it; then his eyes danced to my lips, mine did too. And he did the unexpected and probably what deeply inside i was waiting to happen, he crashed his lips with mine.

He grabbed my waist pulling me to his chest without breaking our kiss; he closed the space left between us as his lips met mine once again. The kiss was soft, warm, mixed with a touch of desperation and desire. My arms are tangled around his neck as my lips savor every inch of his. Until he pulled apart, taking a deep breath. He looked away, releasing his grip off my hips; he started to the blank wall as tears started blurring his vision. A few tears rolling down his cheek, making him close his eyes abruptly once gain. Luke has never been the type of guy who'd cry in front of people; he'd do it in the bathroom, in the darkness of his room or in my arms. I wrapped my arms over his neck and hugged him; he tried to push me away, sobbing at the same time. 'I can't do this', he kept saying while pulling me away but i didn't gave in. I held him tight, placing kisses in his neck and playing with his hair, smoothly. He cried as if he had an open wound in his chest. 'I love you so much', he mumbled in my hair as his sobs became louder echoing in the empty walls of the room we are in. 'I know it's probably too late', he said grabbing my arms pulling me away one more time; he took my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes, 'but i... I want us, i want you. I've never felt so empty. The past few months were hell for me. Me leaving you was there stupidest thing. I destroyed the most beautiful thing i had. I sat in my living room for days wondering if i should call you or not to; i was afraid, insecure and those... Those people i thought they were my friends filled my head with thoughts and i started doubting. I never doubted of you, or your love, or what we had; i doubted of me. I was out of line, for choosing them over you. Or thinking i was better by my own; i wasn't at all. I invented a hundred excuses for not calling you, for not fixing what i damaged. I told myself you wouldn't pick up, that you hated me, and it was sightly easy to think that. But i was so wrong Jules'. My cheeks are stained with tears as i take a large breath, trying my best to not break totally in front of this man who's opening his heart to me; thing i waited to happen long ago. His words fall out of his mouth as fast as the snow who's falling desperately outside, amounting in the edge of the windows. I feel the blood drain from my face; he loves me, he truly does, and these past months i've been telling myself he never did. It hits me right in the gut, but after all, i love him too.

'I'm not a perfect man', Luke says, 'I'm obnoxious, annoying, insecure, easily attached, and i probably won't be able to fulfill your needs or give you everything you've always wanted, but... But i love you, Jules. I love you, and that's all i can offer; true, pure love'. As he ends the sentence, i felt so much love within us and his words came naturally spilled out as if he's been waiting long time to release them. He caresses my cheek, waiting for an answer; honestly i am, too. It's too risky, to put my heart in his hands again. But i loved him; i was deeply, truly, incredibly in love with him, and to me it's all that mattered. I pressed my forehead with his, taking a deep breath and wrapping my arms around his neck. 'I've missed you, too. And I love you. I want that, too. Us, everything', i said as i pressed my lips with. Our lips danced with each other's savoring the nectar of the one another. We pulled apart, smiling, as his hands were wrapped in my waist; his smile was warmer than anyone else i knew, and then i realized something. No matter how many changes life brings, how many ups and downs, and how high the tides would get, there's something that'd always feel normal, that'd always feel right. Like home. Him.

As I cleaned up Luke's injuries, a teacher came to the nursery to tell us the power was back on. We looked at each other's eyes and smiled. I handed him back his shirt and he put it on. The snowstorm ceased and the wind was soft and breezy, refreshing our faces and blowing up our hair backwards. We moved on from our mistakes, and I still love him regardless; we walked outside the room with smile on our faces. Our hands intertwined, feeling the softness of our skins. He grabbed me tight leading the way out. He walked in front of me protectively, as few people glanced our way, but it didn't mattered anymore.

He was holding my hand, and my heart, too.
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