Playing The Game

Playing The Game - Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I was so exhausted from the day’s events that I fell asleep. I woke a few hours later to someone stroking my cheek, and I smiled and slowly opened my eyes. My smile vanished instantly when I saw who was sitting beside my bed, and I quickly moved away.

“What do you want, Joel?” I whispered.

He looked at me with a hurt expression. “I’m sorry, Rubix. I totally over-reacted about that guy. I know you’re not cheating on me. You’ve already told me who he is. But I just snapped when he hit me. I’m sorry.”

I stared at him, not sure what to say. I wanted so bad to forgive him, but I knew he didn’t mean it. He was always going to do this: hit me, and then apologise after. And I was always going to forgive him. And that’s what I did.

“I- It’s okay, Joel,” I said. “I forgive you.”

He smiled and held his arms open for me. I moved back over to him and hugged him tight.

Why did I love this boy so much?

* * *

Months passed, and everything just seemed to get worse.

Joel abused me a lot more often. He would blow up at me for the smallest things, and start hitting me. He’d apologise the next day, and if I didn’t forgive him straight away he gave me flowers and other little gifts, and I was pulled into his clutches again.

I pushed everyone away, to protect them.

I barely spoke to my mum anymore. We used to be such good friends, but I just couldn’t act normal around her anymore, especially when I was hiding something like this. She would know for sure that something was up if I even attempted to be normal. Allie and I had a huge fight, and we weren’t on speaking terms. She got mad at me because I always cancelled our plans. But I couldn’t go out too much; Joel got jealous and suspicious that I was cheating on him whenever I went out. Mason didn’t bother speaking to me very often, because I pushed him away too, but he tried talking to me every now and again.

The only people that were still speaking to me were Rhys and Branden, because they knew that Joel hit me and they knew why I pushed everyone away.

I tried not to get too involved with Branden. It would just make things worse if Joel found out. But he still came around whenever Joel wasn’t here.

Rhys wanted to tell the police when the beatings started get really bad, but I told him no. I just didn’t want to get involved with the police. They probably wouldn’t be much help anyway.

My love for Joel lessened with every punch, every kick, every slap, and eventually I just didn’t know how I felt about him. I thought I loved him. He said he loved me, and that was why he was doing this to me. He made me believe that that was love. That that was his way of showing me he loved me.

But that wasn’t love. And I never realised it until it was almost too late.

* * *

I’d just gotten a call from Rhys saying that Mandy had gone into labour. She was full term, and we had been waiting for this for a few days now.

Joel was with me when I got the call. We were in my room, just talking, and he’d been good right up until I got that call. No signs of anger at all. But when I told him what the call was about, he lashed out at me.

“This is all your fault! That’s my baby! She’s having my f*****g baby!!” he shouted at me.

My eyes widened. I didn’t even know that he knew that it was his. Mandy must have told him. But he never said anything about it.