Into the Ocean

•Now I'm Lying on the Cold Hard Ground•

•Chapter title~ lyrics from Taylor Swift's "Trouble"•
***
I am woken by the sound of my annoying alarm clock. Some days I just feel like taking a hammer and smashing the shiz out of it. But I don't, at least, not yet. All I do is slam my fist on the snooze button, really annoyed that it woke me in the middle of a very good dream. It was a dream about if my mom was still here. I dream about that a lot.

I slowly get out of bed and stumble over to the light switch. I flip on the light switch and blink my eyes, trying to adjust them to the sudden blaze of light. After a couple of blinks, I can finally see without it hurting. I walk over to my closet and open it. I pull out white skinny jeans, and a blue tank top shirt. I place this on my bed and head over to my drawer to pull out my white socks, underwear, and a bra. Once these are on my bed, I walk out my door, trying not to wake my dad. I quietly close the bathroom door and commence my bathroom routine.
***
10 minutes later, I walk out with my teeth brushed and face washed. I approach my door, praying that my dad is still asleep, but once I have my hand on the knob, I hear him coughing in his room.
Not again! I told him to sleep in!
Ever since last week, my dad has been really sick. I tell him every night that he can sleep in because I can get ready on my own, but he doesn't listen. He thinks that he should always help me get ready. Sighing, I open the door and close it.

I walk to my bed and start taking off my black, short-sleeved pajama shirt. I fold it and put it on my bed and start getting dressed. Once I finish, I take my comb and walk back to the bathroom. Just as I'm about to close the bathroom door, I see my dad, walking as slow as a turtle. His chocolate brown hair is ruffled from sleep, and his black bathrobe is acting like a jacket, covering his short-sleeved Jimmy Buffett pajama shirt. Under the robe, I can see his navy-blue flannel pants, along with his brown Black Dog slippers. His face is as pale as snow, and I can see bags under his eyes. I sigh and walk over to chide him.

"Dad, what are you doing up, I told you that you can sleep in. I can handle myself!" I whisper scream. He gives a lopsided smile and takes a breath before he answers.
"I know Coral, but I only got up because I have a doctor's appointment today." I sigh and rub my head in my hands.
"But why this early! You could have made it at 2:30!" I complain. He shrugs and starts walking down the stairs, coughing the entire way down. I can feel my eyes fill up with tears. I hate when my dad is sick, I feel helpless. I wipe away the stray tears and walk into the bathroom.

I close the door and started brushing my long wavy blonde hair. Once it's all brushed, I braid it into a waterfall braid. I finish the braid and open the mirror to grab my makeup bag. I begin digging through it, trying to find my mascara, lip gloss, and eyeshadow. About 20 seconds later, I'm ready to go downstairs and finish getting ready for school.

I make my way down the stairs, thinking about how I can change my dad's mind about going to the doctor this early. I enter the kitchen and see him sitting at the island, drinking a cup of coffee.
This is it, Coral, you can do it.
I take a breath, and walk over to the fridge, trying to act normal. I grab the milk, and place it on the island, and walk over to the cabinet, grabbing a bowl and spoon. I head over to the Lazy Susan to grab a box of cereal. So, far, my dad hasn't even noticed I'm here.
Calm down Coraline, calm down!
I pour the cereal into the bowl, and then the milk. I put everything away and go sit in a seat right next to my dad.

"So, what time is your appointment?" I ask casually. He looks over and sighs.
"Coral, I know what you're doing, but you won't change my mind. I'm going to the doctor, and that's that." He replies in a raspy voice. I groan, frustrated with him.
"But this early?! Dad, this isn't good! Please just reschedule the appointment until later!" I cry. At this point, I can feel tears stream down my face, and I try to stop them. He shakes his head and grabs my hand. His hand feels cold and clammy.

"I understand your concern, but you need to calm down. This is about me, not you." He replies calmly. I pull my hand away, and grab a napkin, wiping the tears away. I take a long shaky breath and nod my head, implying that I understand. We finish our breakfast in silence, which is torture. I can't believe my dad thinks this is a good idea! He's got to be really sick.

I grab my bowl and bring it over to the sink. Then, I pack up my bag and go into the mudroom to grab my shoes. I choose black combat boots. Sighing I pull them on, regretting going to school.
Maybe I can call in sick.
It's a good idea, but he would never let me. I give an exasperated groan and walk back into the kitchen.

I approach the stool, grab my bag, and leave. I don't even say goodbye. I'm too upset.
I walk down to the end of my driveway, where the bus picks me up. I'm glad I'm not a person who has to walk down the street to wait for the bus. That must suck. I realize that I forgot a jacket, but I really do not want to go back inside to get one.

I stand there, feeling the cold morning air blow onto my skin, causing me to get goosebumps. I inhale a deep breath and catch a scent of salt from the ocean. I close my eyes and let the breath go, feeling all of a sudden, relieved.

I'm jerked out of my relaxation when I hear the drone of the school bus. I snap my eyes open and see the bus approaching. It gives a huff and stops in front of my driveway, and the bus driver opens the doors for me. I slowly slide my feet over to the bus, regretting every step.
***
I can't stand second period. It's terribly boring. I sit in my seat, trying to pay attention to the lesson. Right now, we're learning some weird math stuff. I don't think even mathematicians know what we're learning. I avert my eyes from the board and look at the floor. I can't stop thinking about my dad.
Is he okay? Did he make it to the doctor? Is it some stupid cold that will go away?
These thoughts swirl around my head, and I can't focus on anything else.

Just then, I hear a knock on the door. I look up and see the Vice Principal at the door. My teacher tells the class to wait, and speed walks over to the door. He opens it just enough for him to speak to her. She whispers something to him, and he nods and turns back to the class, looking directly at me.

"Vice Principal Winston would like to speak with you, Coraline. And bring your stuff." I slowly gather everything I brought with me to class and walk over to the door.

"Hello Coraline, may I speak with you in my office?" Ms. Winston says gently to me. I nod, very confused. My teacher pushes me into the hall and closes the door. I start following Ms. Winston to her office, not knowing what to expect.
***
I take a seat in the chair across from her desk, freaking out. I have no idea why I'm here. I gulp and look at Ms. Winston's face. She's a younger woman in her early 20s, and she has honey yellow hair pulled up into a bun. Her eyes are a calming blue, and she has a sweet smile plastered on her face. But the thing that's really puzzling me, is the look of sadness shining in her eyes.

She clears her throat and begins talking.
"Ms. Coraline, I have some news, and I really hate to tell you this, especially right now." I nod, waiting for her to continue.
"I was informed this morning by the hospital that," she takes a deep breath before continuing, "your father was in the hospital. A neighbor found him lying unconscious on the ground and called 9-1-1. They rushed him to the hospital. While he was there, they discovered that he had a rare disease that could not be treated in the right amount of time." I take a deep breath and feel tears form in my eyes.
"I regret to inform you that your father has passed away." The last sentence keeps repeating in my head until realization washes over me. My father, the one who raised me to be the person I am, is gone. I take in breaths, tears pouring down my face. My world is crumbling down. I'm lying on the ground, and I can't get up.

Then I realize another thing. Since my mom is not here to claim me as her daughter, and my dad died, I'm probably going to be given to complete strangers because...
I'm an orphan.