Nicholas Grey Must Not Die | ✓

1 | Benevolence

"And I, and I never prepared for a moment like that. Yeah, in a second it came all back, it all came back. 'Cause after all these years, I still feel everything when you are near"

~ All These Years (CAMILA)

I shouldn't be doing this.

I should not be doing this.

Why am I doing this?

Why did I agree to do something as inexplicably immature as this?

I saw him, Nicholas Grey, laughing among his group of 'jock' friends.

And he was about the same: a jock who was the star of the football and basketball team...and the male lead of every girl's dreams.

No literally. Since I moved back here two months ago, I've probably heard enough girls at Kingston High coo about the dream they had of Nicholas. He was either proposing, kissing or nailing one of them in their dreams. And all the dreams ended with them living happily ever after.

Sometimes I wonder as I listen, whether these girls had a dream or a rerun of a Disney movie.     

I swear one of them told me they dreamt he showed up at her door with a glass shoe; I nearly lost it.

Regardless of that, he was, of course, a player. I don't understand how you can be as good looking as he is and not break at the constant admiration and fawning thrown your way. In all honesty, I'd become a bloody nightmare.

But sadly, I look like the ugly stepsister of Shrek, so that department was sealed shut a long time ago.

And now...now I stood frozen staring at his side profile, fighting a war with my self.

I wish that at least the war was for my pleasure, but it wasn't. It was for five girls whose hearts were broken by dear Grey. Apparently, he played them all at the same time. 

Talk about some skills.

It was an honest surprise for me to hear these stories about a boy I once considered my best friend. Our relationship went rogue for reasons I still can't make sense of to this day. The summer before high school, we both went out of the country to visit family and when we came back, he was unlike himself. I don't know what happened in England that had such an effect on him, but he was so different after that summer. Gradually, our communication ceased to exist. First, it was him stopping our usual evening strolls. Then it was him missing our weekly ice cream feasts at Baskin Robins. And finally, it was him cutting off all forms of communication. I distinctly remember calling him one afternoon just needing to talk to him, because he gave such great advice and the call went straight to voicemail. It was either that he blocked my number or he ignored it. After a while, it became clear that he had blocked my number because as soon as school started, he always had a girl in his arms and he never looked my way, not even once. I cried myself to sleep that night and the next night and the next night. Everything became a blur without him. I was so used to having him in my life that with him gone, I was lost. I became an empty body walking around the school halls just trying to get through the day. When my parents or my siblings would ask about where Nicholas had gone, I'd bite my lips hard to keep from crying. It was a question that I wanted to be answered, too. I just didn't know how to get it.

And now, three years later, my heart had healed for the most part. Our history was merely just that: history. 

Anyways, I was supposed to give him his invitation to Daisy's party. She was one of the five girls and she got whatever she wanted. Her parents were rich, of course, but that was the least of the reasons as to why anyone and everyone bucked at her words. She was demanding and at times, scary. It took some serious balls to say no to her, which is how I ended up in this predicament. 

I took in a deep breath to push myself out of my comfort zone and spoke clearly. "Nicholas."

He froze from the conversation he was having. As he turned around, I pushed the thought of how comforting yet weird it felt to say his name directly to him after all this time. He blinked, his eyes widening as he recognized me. "Iris, hey," he whispered, his raspy voice low as he spoke with a benevolence I wasn't expecting.

"Um, look there's a party at Nicole's place tonight and she wants you to come," I lied, giving him that sweet smile he would instantly recognize as fake if he still knew me well. 

The party was at Daisy's, but if he were to know that, he wouldn't come. In order for the plan to work, he needed to be present at this party. The only way to get him there was to lie. There was an ache in my heart, possibly an indication that I was wrong to do this to him. Either that or it was heartburn; I'd like to think it was the latter as it put my mind at ease. I mean, it's not like we were close; I wasn't obligated to give him a heads up about anything. Not anymore, anyway.

He arched his eyebrow, his shock at that fact that I'd spoken to him after all this time evident. He probably didn't even know I was back. "Nicole, who's that?" He asked wearily, slowly taking that invitation card from me.

I shrugged. "A rich girl who loves throwing parties. You love 'em, don't you?"

He chuckled, the rich sound so inviting and delicate that I almost gave him a real smile. "Girls or parties?"

"Both, I guess," I said with indifference, trying my best to refrain from rolling my eyes at his comment.

He must have understood that I didn't want to prolong this conversation more than I had to because he soon gave me a stern nod. "Alright, tell her I'll be there."

"Okay," I replied monotonously, turning to walk away without any more words. It's not that I didn't want to talk to him because I did. I wanted to ask him so many questions, to talk to him about all that has happened in that last three years. But most importantly, I wanted to hug him. I missed him so much, so much that it hurt. It was something I hid well, something I never talked about with anyone. No one at school remembers how close Nicholas and I were in middle school; more than half of them weren't there to witness it anyway. Most of them don't even know I used to live here. 

As I reached the table in the far back of the large cafeteria, Daisy's smile widened and she let out a squeal. "How'd it go?"

I snickered at her excitement but gave her a serious answer nonetheless. "Fantastically. Operation Grey is officially activated."

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