I Love You

Chapter Four

Japanese

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The next morning, my mood is still slightly damp from the previous day. I continue to worry about Kazuki, though he seemed fine when I left yesterday. We simply laid together, watching movies, playing games and chatting with one another. Hearing him laugh was enough to keep my worries away, even if only for a short while.

I fumble around for my phone, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to call him. Not only do I want to check that he is all right, but I want to hear his voice. Besides, I have homework to be done and the two of us usually do our homework together.

After dialling his number, I put the phone to my ear. It takes him longer to answer than I am typically used to, but when he does, I find myself smiling. "Good morning, Kaz. How are you?"

"Fine." Apparently his mood has worsened again. The corners of my lips pull down in a small frown.

"I just wanted to check in on you." I continue, slightly thrown off by the sound of his voice. Has something changed since yesterday? Instead of worrying myself over it, I decide to get to the point. "I also wanted a bit of help with the homework we were set. Maybe we could video call and do it together? It's fine if you don't-"

"I'm not in the mood." Kazuki's tone is harsh enough to make me flinch. It is as if he is spitting his words at me, determined to get away as quickly as possible.

I pause again, slumping over slightly. Whatever good mood I had mustered has been knocked out of me. "I'm sure I'll find a way to manage, then. Are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes." He hangs up.

The phone falls from my hand and I fall back, nestling into my duvet. My eyes latch on to my white ceiling. It was once bare and empty, but a five-year-old me decided that she wanted to stick stars everywhere. They glowed in the dark. This helped me to deal with my irrational fear of the shadows.

I still am relatively afraid of the dark.

Kazuki noticed these stars when he first came over a year or so ago. The two of us were sat beside one another, papers littered all over the floor. We had decided to get together to do some homework. He had sighed frustratedly, dropping the sheet he was working on. Then he laid back, putting his hands behind his head. When he started laughing, I looked up with furrowed brows.

"What's so funny?" I asked him, annoyed that he had interrupted a complicated equation.

"Are you scared of the dark?" He replied with another question. I blinked for a moment, before looking up. A crimson flooded through my cheeks. "You have glow-in-the-dark stars all over your ceiling. I don't know whether to find that adorable, or hilarious."

My hands clenched into fists. "I stuck them up when I was a lot younger. I don't like the dark, okay?" My gaze was quick to shift back to the homework that I clutched tightly. My palms had begun to sweat and I wondered whether or not Kazuki would continue teasing me.

"I think I did something like this when I was younger. But I took them down at some point. It took me ages." Kazuki continued, sitting up and glancing over at me. His eyes were dark with worry, but I didn't notice at the time. I was busy attempting to complete the homework. With a sigh, I looked up at him through narrowed eyes. "Are you still scared of the dark?"

"I guess." I mumbled, continuing to avoid his gaze. Kazuki grinned at me, before standing up. He took my hand in his and he proceeded to tug me upwards with him. I grumbled slightly as the paper fell from my lap. He pulled me over to my window, flinging the curtains open.

"Just look out there." He said, his smile still stretched into a wide grin. I raised my gaze, glancing out of the window hesitantly. The sky was black, illuminated only by the moon. It sent shivers down my spine.

"There's nothing special. It looks dark, and scary, and I'd die if I went out there right now." I muttered, glaring at the cool glass in front of me. Our reflections were faint against the black canvas. Kazuki chuckled softly, moving to stand behind me.

"I love the dark. Just take a look at the stars. They shine so bright, but during the daytime, they are outshone. The stars are overlooked during the daytime." Kazuki gestured upwards to the stars, glancing over at me as he spoke. I followed his hand, staring up at the stars with wide eyes. "They can only come out during the dark, so the darkness is kind. The darkness gives these stars the opportunity to be all that they can be.

"Therefore you shouldn't be scared of the darkness, Harmony." He concluded, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I was shocked from the sudden contact, but I couldn't bring myself to move away from him. Instead, I burrowed into him and sought comfort in his body. "If you ever feel scared, look up at the stars and remember that I'm here for you. I'll always save you."

"I never knew you could be so deep, Kazuki." I laughed, my breath catching in my throat as I looked at our reflection. His chin rested atop my head, his arms wrapped around my torso tightly. My hands were placed lightly on top of his and I could see myself trying to get closer to him.

We looked cute.

"I have many hidden talents." Kazuki responded, squeezing me momentarily. We stood in silence and I closed my eyes, allowing the silence to engulf me. "Seriously though, I'm always here for you. No matter what happens, I'll always be here. No matter what happens, aishiteru."

I stared at his reflection confusedly. "What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you one day." He murmured, quickly changing the subject. Another few blissful moments had passed, before we had returned to the homework behind us. That night, we had fallen asleep beside one another. Kazuki had wrapped an arm around my waist and I had burrowed myself into his chest once more. My parents didn't say anything about it, though.

I smile at the memory, suddenly wondering what had happened to make Kazuki act so differently. He never used to have mood swings. He never used to hesitate to tell me what was wrong. I had always been there to help him through whatever was bothering him, as he had always been there for me.

Perhaps he had been lying to me. Maybe I was the problem. Maybe he didn't want me around anymore.

I shudder at the thought, shaking my head. No matter what is happening, I intend to help Kazuki through it.