Month 21.
I was fed up with state officials snapping at me over the telephone because Phillip Sanders refused to return their calls. I was working on a major federal project that involved working with many of the State's major institutions. It was apparent that State agency representatives were tired of speaking with middle line representatives of the federal government and wanted to speak directly to the Bureau Director. Phillip was rarely available to take phone calls or meet with these State representatives. I surmised that if he stayed away from the gambling boats during business hours, he would have time to speak and meet with these people.
One afternoon on my way out to lunch, I passed Phillip in the hall.
Before he could walk into the office I said, "Phillip, every state representative in town is calling me. They would like to meet and speak with you personally."
In an arrogant, cocky tone Phillip replied, "Everyone wants me."
*** * ***
I was scheduled to go on another business trip. Phillip and my co-worker Steve Ewings would be joining me. The day before we were scheduled to leave, Phillip blew up at me. I had gone in his office in order to get confirmation about the upcoming trip.
"Phillip, have you spoken to Mr. Edwards yet?"
Mr. Edwards was a member of the State College Board, and a well known Mississippi "red neck."
"No, not yet," he replied.
"I would handle this matter myself, but Mr. Edward refuses to talk to peons. He would prefer to talk to the H.N.I.C instead," I heatedly responded.
I wished I could have eaten those words at that very moment. They flew out of my mouth before I realized what I had said.
Phillip looked at me with hurt and anger in his eyes. "Don't call me that. I don't deserve that. Don't ever call me that."
His tone expressed hurt and frustration. I was hurting too and wanted to hurt him back.
I wanted Phillip to stop ignoring me and know that I was alive.
*** * ***
Phillip and Steve picked me up at my house the next day promptly at 6:00 o'clock a.m. We would be driving to the Mississippi Delta. I often wonder what Steve must have thought when he was forced to pick me up last. Phillip lived up the highway past my house. Steve should have picked me up first and then Phillip. Instead, Steve drove past my house and picked up Phillip and then doubled back and picked me up.
I was still upset with Phillip. I did not like the way he treated me or made me feel since returning from Miami. I sat in the back seat of the car reflecting on the treatment I had received at the hands of this man for weeks. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but I knew that this was not the time nor place to do it.
Phillip broke the silence, "So, T.J., how do you feel?"
I had left work yesterday early. I had thrown up in the women's bathroom immediately after the scene in Phillip's office.
"I feel better, thank you for asking."
"I am glad that you could make the sacrifice and join us, I did not think you were going to be coming after yesterday. T.J., we want you feeling good and not sick tonight."
There were two ways to interrupt Phillip's last statement. We were going to the Mississippi Delta which was the home to eleven different gambling casinos. Phillip wanted to go gambling and not play nurse maid to a sick employee. Or, Phillip wanted to and had every intention of making love to me tonight and did not want me pissed off.
