Brotherly Bonds

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A dark silhouette against the New York City skyline, an old, decrepit tenement building. This was the setting of his return. He inhaled slowly through his nose and blew it out through his mouth. The air burned all the way down his throat and into his lungs in a way no other air ever could. His chest felt weighed down by the harsh reality of the time that had passed. The city had changed. A lot of things had changed. He had changed. And that was why he'd decided he had to come back. He couldn't run anymore. It was no use. No matter how far he ran he couldn't escape from himself. It had taken him three years to realize that.

He still wasn't sure he could do this. Shell, what if they'd moved on? Transitioned to a life without him? They were probably relieved to be rid of him. What if his return only brought back those painful memories? What if they didn't want him back? Then at least he'd know. At least he'd have peace of mind in what he was doing. Doubt was what had brought him back here, after all. That one little sliver of doubt, that maybe, just maybe, his family would want him back.

The turtle took another deep breath of city air. How far he'd run over the past three years didn't matter anymore. No matter how far he himself had traveled, his heart was still here, in this city. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the cars honking, the chatter of the people, the babbling hum of televisions and radios, the smell of hotdogs and pizza...Home. He was finally home. For the first time since he'd left, he realized how much he'd missed it.

He grinned and turned. His face sobered. There was a manhole cover in the alley below. His jaw hardened and he let out a slow, shaky exhale. Three years, two months and five days...it was finally time to go back.

The manhole cover closed with a gentle tap. Raph hadn't even reached the bottom of the ladder yet before he started to cough. Man, he'd almost forgotten how putrid these sewers were. Almost. Years ago, he'd been used to the smell, but it had been a long time since he'd trudged about in sewers like these. Over the past three years he'd been sticking mainly to abandoned buildings and factories. Being back in the sewers would take some getting used to. But that was okay. Right now, he knew exactly where he was going. Three years since he left, and he could still find his way there with his eyes closed.

Next thing he knew, he was standing in front of the door to the lair. A wave of anxiety washed over him. Maybe this really wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe he should crash somewhere else for the night. No. No, he had to do this. He had to know. He had to eliminate all of his doubts. If he didn't, he'd never be able to move on. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

The lair was completely dark. It was almost four in the morning, so he hadn't exactly expected them to be up, but he couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed. He had almost been looking forward to seeing the look on Leo's face when he walked in. But it's not like Leo would have been up waiting for him. After all, three years was a long time to wait. He padded silently over to the dojo and looked in. The room was dark, but he could see Sensei's candles were all in place just the way they had always been and he grinned. Some things never change. But some things did.

There was a small shelf off in the corner of the room. He frowned and raised an eye-ridge. Silently making his way over to it, he took a good long look at it. His chest tightened. It was filled with pictures of him and his brothers. Most of them were ones he recognized since they never had a lot of pictures in the lair, but there was one that was unfamiliar, yet the image brought tears to his eyes. Right in the center in a worn wooden frame was a picture of him hugging Sensei. With a trembling hand, he picked it up. A few tears ran down his cheeks, but he wiped them away in the blink of an eye. He put the frame back on the shelf and pushed all of them back a little. He removed his sais from his belt and placed them delicately in front of the pictures. Splinter would find them in the morning.