Letters to Wyatt✔️

10

December 11, 2015.

Dear Wyatt,

Today we put up the Christmas tree. We did it a lot later this year than we usually do. I'm starting to wonder if my parents are avoiding things that they know will remind me of you.

And remind me of you, it did.

Do you remember last Christmas when we were together? You came over to my dorm and impulsively decided that we were going to string popcorn to decorate the tiny tree I had shoved in the corner of my room. At first you were confident that microwave popcorn would work. You didn't take long to realize your mistake after you tried shoving the first butter slathered piece onto the string.

Soon you had us going to buy an air popper and popcorn kernels, despite the fact that we were poor college kids. When I pointed out how it was a waste of money, you just told me you had your priorities straightened out and that I need to work on that.

We never did figure out an easy way to get popcorn onto the string without crushing it in the process. I'm afraid the tree looked better without the popcorn than it did once we attempted to encircle the tree with the popcorn garlands, but you insisted that it was a masterpiece all the same. You were proud of that tree, even if it was perhaps the ugliest tree I had ever seen.

You never could admit it when you were wrong. I miss your little shenanigans. They always brought a smile to my face.

As I decorate for Christmas with my mom and dad this year, I can't help feeling like I've been put on pause and frozen in place while the rest of the world moves forward around me at double speed. All the people, the sounds, the twinkling Christmas lights, everything- it all feels like one big blur passing by me. It's as if my feet are weighed down by bricks and I'm just dragging myself along. I'm alive, but I feel as if I might as well be the one six feet under the ground.

You were so vibrant when you were alive that I can't think of you without connecting you to that life that you were so undeniably full of. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time accepting that you're gone.

Savannah

A/N: gosh I freaking love Wyatt okay. my heart hurts. please vote! additionally, comments and follows are always appreciated!