The Aftermath

ten

"I'm sorry that I ignored you." Phil said, sitting next to me, our knees touching.

"Why did you do it?" I questioned, making no effort to separate from his touch. It felt familiar, and warm.

"I panicked."

"What do you mean you panicked?"

"I was afraid. Afraid that you would leave me. So I tried breaking apart from you, before you could do it to me." 

"Phil that makes no sense."

"I know, I know... I am just so scared of  getting too close to someone, and having them hurt me. I'm sorry that I lied about you to Cami too..."

"What did you say to her? Because she hates my guts."

"I told her that you guilted me into doing the uh... the thing." He looked down at his hands, nervously tapping his thumbs together.

"Why Phil? Now she thinks I'm some fuck boy!" I hadn't meant to raise my voice. Phil flinched away, a hurt expression plastered on his face. "I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry."

"It's okay... Do you hate me?" He looked so small, his back hunched over and a sad look in his eyes. How could I ever hate him?

"Of course I don't hate you. I've known you for a few months, but I still feel some type of attachment to you. All I want to do is protect you, and make you happy. Hating you isn't something I'm capable of Philly." I took his hand in mine and rested it on my knee. "You mean so much to me, no matter what happens, no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm still going to be here. I promise."

"I don't deserve you." Phil's eyes were brimmed with tears, making me feel like crying too.

"You're right. You deserve someone better than me."

"Shut up Dan."

"It's the truth."

"It's not. There is no one else in this world that could be better for me, than you." He scooted closer and laid his head on my shoulder. "I love you Dan, and it scares the crap out of me. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I love you, Phil." I whispered, "and I'm scared too."

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