Random X reader

Valentine's day (Deadpool x reader)

You were in the kitchen cooking dinner. Today was Valentine's Day and you wanted to do something for your husband wade. You set the table and lit the candles.  It was perfect. That's when you heard the door open and close.

"Wade how was your day," you asked from the kitchen.

"Eventful," he replied.

You walked out of the kitchen and saw wade on the couch bleeding.

"Oh my god wade. What the fuck happened," you ran to him.

"To many chimichangas with the guys," he said.

"Lay off them then. Now take off your shirt," you said.

"I like where this is going," wade said with a cheeky smile.

"No you are going to take a shower," you said taking his shirt to the laundry room.

"You need my pants too," you heard him call.

"Yea I'll grab them when you get in the shower," you replied.

You walked out and saw wade standing naked in the living room. His arms was extended with his pants in his hands. 

"Really," you asked an taking the pants from him.

"What you wanted to wash them," he said following you.

He stood in the door way of the laundry room trapping you. You would try and move around him but he would block you.

"Wade, the food is going to burn," you told him.

"Let it burn," he said walking towards you.

"You are discovered in blood and sweat. Please wade take a shower and get dress so we can have a nice Valentine's Day meal," you said giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Got Damn it. I hate when you fucking do that," he said turning around and walked to your and his bedroom.

"I'm gonna touch that fine ass," he shouted. 

"Okay but after dinner," you replied
Following him.

He was standing in front of the mirror looking at his ass. You shook your head and went back to making dinner.

~time skip~
Wade walked out of the bedroom and hugged you from behind. He kissed your neck.

"Dinner is ready," you said turning around.

You looked at his shirt and looked at him. He was wearing a grey t-shirt with 'let's fuck' in white

"Really, you just had to put on that shirt," you asked.

"I'm showing you how I want this night to end," he said.

"Go sit down," you ordered.

You brought the food to the table and you two ate.

"I love you (y/n)," he said grabbing your hand.

"I love you to wade," you replied.

After you two ate dinner, you washed the plates. Your hands was under the water so you called out to wade.

"Hey can you grab the the Ajax," you called.

"What," he gasped.

"Just hand it to me please," you said.

"I don't see Ajax I see pledge, finish, Francis," he said looking up at you.

"Hand me the Francis," you asked.

He grabbed the bottle and handed it to you. It was the Ajax bottle with the word Ajax covered in duct tape and the word Francis written in the duct tape.

"I can't wait anymore," wade said grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulders.

"Wade, put me down," he said pitting him.

He threw you on the bed and took off your shirt.

"You should probably end it here," he said.

"Who are you talking to," you asked.

"The writer," he replied.

"Your crazy," you said wrapping your arms around his neck and firmly pressing your against his.

"No need to touch myself tonight," he said thought the kiss.

You laughed and rolled over to get on top of him.