Why Me?

Can I Go Home?

With a huge headache and ringing in my ears I stood up and slammed my face into a pair of soft pillows. After a...more than needed feel I realized this were indeed not pillows. I quickly jumped back and fell down hard. 

"Welcome to Middle Land" a voice spoke. 

I got up again and saw an older lady wearing a strapless crimson red dress and some beautiful earrings. 

"Where is this? And um...who are you?" I asked trying not to focus on her chest that was popping out more than it should.

"This is a magical place that only a chosen few have ever seen, behold its beauty!!!" She yelled, her chest, dress and earrings shaking from side to side. 

"Um yeah there's nothing really here so can I go home?"

She laughed at me as I saw her chest jiggle with each breath, "What a fool! you know that's impossible!"

I stared at her for quite a long time, thinking about what the hell was happening. 

"W-well what did the great one tell you?" She fumbled, feeling uncomfortable the way I was looking at her. 

"Who?" 

"The one that you saw before coming here!!!" She yelled, boobs still jiggling furiously. 

Even though I couldn't see it I was sure was face was like that of a bear in a restroom at an aquarium, confused. 

"Oh forget it just go through a door" she gave up, snapping her fingers as hundreds of doors appeared around me. I stood there looking at them as she laughed, "yes yes I know my power is truly amazing isn't it?"

"Yeah it's great now which one of these takes me home?" I asked opening a door to a octopus that wrapped around me and starting slamming me around. 

The lady laughed at me hysterically "my my my that's what you get for opening a door without permiss-!"

 She was cut off by a tentacle grabbing her leg and taking her and throwing me to a wall. 

"N-no what do you think your doing?!" she yelled as the octopus had its way with her. 

"N-no this can't happen to me, I'm still so young.....I haven't even had my first kiss yet.....please save me.....great one" she prayed in a strange tone, blushing. 

"Okay that's enough of that" I coughed, slamming the door on the octopus, freeing her. 

"T-thank you, I totally had it under control though"

"Yeah of course you did"

The air was heavy. We both knew that her lie was just that, a lie.

"Well either way I am grateful to you so I shall give you three wishes"

"Great then I wish to go home"

"Sorry can't do that" she beamed with a smile that really annoyed me. 

I stared her down again looking at her stupid grin and that's when I got an idea. 

"So there's no way I can go home?" I questioned with a devilish smile. 

"Y-yes that's correct ehehehe...." She answered with a hard swallow. 

"Then I wish........TO GROPE YOU!!!!!!"

For a moment she froze in place with her smile before it changed into a face of terror. 

"N-now hang on let's t-think this through" she shook, backing up. 

"Now now a wish is a wish" I pushed, getting closer.

As I was inches away to her chest she finally cracked, "Okay okay stop! I'll take you home! Just don't touch me!!!" 

I smiled and gave her a thumbs up, "great let's go!"

"Damn you demon child" she muttered as she teleported us away. 

As we made our way to my house something went wrong and we were thrown back into the room we started in. 

"What happened did you magic malfunction?!"

"Idiot, that's not how it works and it's obvious this was the work of......"Him"

From her long pause and glare into the distance I got the feeling I was suppose to know who this "Him" was.

"Obviously I know who you're referring to but...how about you refresh my memory?" I slyly questioned but before she could answer she was hit by a blast of light. 

"The Great One said you're suppose to go through door 495, from there you will know what to do"

"I'm not doing that, I demand to see this Great One!"

"Sorry can't do that either" she said with her smile again as I was thrown through the door and blacked out. 

"Man what a hassle" she groaned taking a deep breath and sitting down in her chair. 

"Where.....am.....I?"

I asked myself as I saw my reflection in what seemed like an ocean. 

"You have been chosen to protect this world from the evil demons of the lands and bring back the peace that has been lost fo-" 

"Yeah no I'm good" I said cutting off the voice. 

For a minute everything went silent before the voice talked again.

"W-well too bad you were chosen so you have no choice!"

"But I want to go home!" I complained. 

"I don't care just do your job and save the world!!!"

I was taken through a portal once again and it seemed like I was traveling millions of miles per second. 

"Maybe this could be fun after all I mean think about it, I can be the hero of a land that needs saving. Yeah....yeah! This could be my chance to do something great! Look out world! Here comes Judos Kaldos!!!". 

This is the moment that all my determination, all my heart, all my spirit were taken from me for this new world was nothing like what I expected......