Love Is Stupid |✓

|20|

"Um are you okay?" Cassidy cautiously asked, slowly inching her way towards me. She raised her hand, probably to put it on my shoulder, but decided against it. Putting it on top of her jean-clad thigh instead.

We were inside my room, sitting on the far end of the bed. I wasn't really the type of person who calls her friend to have a shoulder to cry on. I was good with doing the crying solo. I didn't need someone who would fumble for Kleenex tissues and some ice cream tub. I was okay with dealing with it alone, with just a couple of duvets over my head and some depressing song playing on repeat in the background.

Today was a different story though. I called Cassidy. I didn't say anything over the line, I just cried my heart out after she said a cheery hello. And soon enough, she was already rushing to my place.

"I don't know," I told her truthfully, puffing my cheeks with a breath of air.

After having a rather dramatic talk with you, I was drained. My head was filled with your words, making it hurt.

No.

I don't love her.

I am desperately in love with you.

I love you.

Why?

I thought that after talking to you, things would get better. Boy, how wrong I was. It only made me a lot more confused and scared. So, upon realizing that my cheek was pressed against your chest, I pulled away, looking at you in horror before running away.

And now, I was here. In a mess of tangled hair and fat tears.

Cassidy sighed, tilting her head up to look at my white ceiling and clicking her tongue together before looking back at me. "What happened?"

Should I? Can I tell her?

I told her everything. I told her that I wanted to be with you, but being with you makes me feel guilty. So, I pushed you away, knowing that it's the right thing to do. But instead of being happy, I was mourning over the fact that you went after Ruby. So, I did what I could to move on. I tried to hate you the best way I could. Until one morning, you and Ruby broke up and you asked me out.

I told Cass that I said no. I told her that Toby asked me the same day and I rejected him too. I said that I thought, maybe I should give Toby a chance because he seems like a nice guy. But to me it seems that I was only trying to give Toby a chance because I saw you with Ruby again.

I told her what you said. I told her that I cried in your arms, then pushed you away for the nth time, because guilt started to eat me up again.

I told her everything, I didn't hold back. Surprisingly though, it made me feel so much better.

Cassidy stared at me with her calculating big blue eyes, and I stared back at her. She was silent for a few minutes, her lower lip in between her teeth.

Suddenly, she grabbed her purse that was laying on my nightstand, rummaging through its inside. I watched her with mild interest and confusion, my brows furrowed together.

She mumbled a silent aha, pulling out her gem-studded silver iPhone. "Here," she said, handing the phone to me.

I raised my brow at the sparkly phone that was glinting against the light of my room in her hand, eyeing it with confusion.

"C'mon, get it," she urged, nodding her head eagerly.

Sighing out loud, I took the phone from her grasp and held loosely. "But why?"

She clicked her tongue together, and released a huge breath. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair. She casted me a sidelong glance, a small smile on her lips. "Phoebe, I think for you to fix this mess, you have to go back from the very start."

No. No, no, no.

"I-I can't, Cas-"

She shook her head, placing her hand firmly on my shoulder. "No, Phoebe. You have to call Miles."