the heir's secret

Elizabeth

The carriage comes to a sudden stop making my body jolt forward slightly. My palms begin instantly sweating, despite the cold as I realise that I have arrived. I try to slow my breathing as the carriage door opens, letting in a cool autumn breeze which sends a long shiver down my spine like a snake crawling down my back. I lift up my blue, patterned dress revealing my ankles and step out. As soon as my feet touch the ground my body stiffens as I look up to see the building of memories, the house that I have longed to see for an entire year, Hatfield house.

I stare at it for a few moments, looking at the garden where I used to walk and pick flowers on beautiful spring mornings, that is now a distant memory. I hold my skirt up so that the expensive material does not fall in the dirt and walk towards the grand house, each step closer making my blood pump faster. What will she say to me? What should I say? I wonder as the front door is opened before me and I am lead inside. The familiar smell of wooden furniture and old tapestries fills my nose as I walk into the warm house, the smell makes me smile slightly.

A maid curtseys to me as I enter and then leads me across the hall, without a word I follow, my palms becoming sticky with sweat inside my leather gloves. Suddenly she stops in front of a door that I recognise leads to the library room. She opens the wooden door with a creak and bows in the doorway.

"Lady Woodville is here, your grace." She then bows again then looks back at me, after a slight nod of her head she leaves. My heartbeat pumps in my ears, draining out all sound as I step into the door frame revealing the bright glow of the fire and the hundreds of multi coloured books on the tall bookshelf. My eyes wander around the room nervously until I see bright head of ginger hair loose around some pale white shoulders covered by red silk with expensive beads intricately sown on in a beautiful pattern. Her face shines from the glow of the fire making her cheeks slightly red from the warmth. I bow low, hoping that I will not fall.

"Your grace." I say, my voice quivering slightly. She carries on staring at the fire for a few moments before looking around and staring at me, her face emotionless. Our eyes lock but she does not pull away, staring right into my soul. Finally she pulls away from my gaze and looks back into the fire.

"I hope your journey was not too tiresome." She says, her voice strong and bold. Her common courtesy reminds me with a slap that we are now just common strangers.

"Indeed not, your grace. It was long but I had many books to keep me occupied." There is silence for a while until she gestures with her hand towards the chair in front of her, inviting me to sit down. I accept willingly and sit down, letting myself fall into the comfortable material.

"You are a lady now. I heared you like to be called Lady Woodville."

"You may call me Katherine, your grace. That is if you wish to." She looks at me, her expression showing distaste.

"I have never called you Katherine and I will not now... Lady Woodville." The awkwardness makes me want to scream so I avert my eyes, also turning towards the fire. "I have heared you are to be married." I curse under my breath, news gets around quickly. I had excepted his request a week ago, before I got Elizabeth's reply. I do not love him but he is a good man and I can do much worse.

"Yes, your Grace."

"He is a good man." She replies, her voice not revealing any of her feelings. "I have met him a few times, he was very kind and courteous." I look down into my lap to hide my anger that she already knew.

"May I speak plainly, Lady Woodville." She says suddenly, surprising me.

"Of course."

"Your letter surprised me. It has been a year since we last spoke, maybe even a little over. You ignored every letter I wrote in the first few weeks and made it very clear that you wanted to start anew. I believed your decision was right so I moved on too. I had almost forgotten you until your letter arrived two weeks ago." She pauses, staring right into my eyes. " So, why?" She looks at me, her expression fixed with confidence and power but also strong with confusion.

I open my mouth to speak but before a sound can leave my lips the door opens suddenly and the same maid I saw before enters holding a tray with a jug of wine and two metal goblets on top. She waddles inside, placing the tray delicately on the table in front of us. "Thank you, Margaret." Elizabeth says as the maid bows politely then exits, leaving us in silence again. "Would you care for some wine?" Elizabeth asks as she pours herself a glass. I refuse politely, I will need all of my wits. Once her glass is full she sits back on her chair, sipping it delicately. There is an awkward silence again as she waits for my unsaid answer.

"Elizabeth, uh, your Grace." I correct myself, great start. " I thought it not wise for us not to talk. Envy and hatred is not healthy for oneself."

"And that's why you wrote?" She asks. I hesitate, knowing that what I have told her is not exactly true.

"I..." She stares at me, her eyes never wandering. " I missed you."

"You forget yourself. A woman soon to be married should be looking towards the future, not towards the past." She takes another sip from her glass, this time taking a bigger gulp.

"I am sorry if I have offended you by me being here." Suddenly she puts her glass down onto the table.

"I invited you here because I did not want to say what I have to say now in a letter." I look up, my dread making my blood drain from my face, making me cold. "Katherine, you left because you believed that what we had was wrong and you were right, you..."

"I was not right!" I interrupt my sudden out burst surprising Elizabeth. "I denied both of us happiness. Do you really think that was the right thing to do?" Elizabeth stares at me, astonishment plain on her face.

"Happiness? I was not happy when I was with you. I would smile at you and you would turn the other way, I couldn't even look at you without your face filling with disgust of what we did together. You made me feel like I was a bit of horse shit on your velvet slipper, you had stepped on me and now couldn't scrape me off. You made me feel like I couldn't do anything without you and then you left, leaving me alone without anyone. And now you turn up out of the blue expecting me to forgive you and for things to go back to normal! I tell you, Katherine Woodville you are the last person who will make me feel like I have less power!" All time seems to stop as she glares at me with so much hatred that I'm sure at any moment she will put a knife through my heart.

I have broken her heart in more ways than I could have possibly imagined. I thought that the most pain she felt was when she cried before I left, little did I know that had only been the last straw. Every time I had turned away from her because of fear of angering God I had been stabbing her silently. I had made her feel weak, and for a Tudor that is the worst thing of all. A tear falls slowly from my eyes as she moves towards the window, away from me.

"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth."

"You should address me as your Grace!" She shouts making me cry even more. What was I expecting to happen when I stepped into my carriage this morning? I imagined falling into her arms as she stroked my hair, telling her I loved her and that I was sorry. In my naivety I had thought that I was the one who had felt the most pain, I had never even thought about what she was feeling. I soak in the silence as she stays at the window. Suddenly she begins talking again, her voice now calm and emotionless. "I want you to leave." Another tear falls from my eye but I wipe it away quickly.

"I shall write every day." I reply as I stand up to leave. She doesn't reply so I bow to her slowly, making each moment last. Slowly I walk towards the door, my hand just touching the door knob.

"Katherine," I stop suddenly. My heart beating fast. Has she changed her mind? "Never come back." My heart falls and shatters on the floor like a glass vase. My tears run down my face as I look at her with regret. Her face is emotionless and I know that she means it. I nod slightly before opening the door and leaving the warm fire lit room to the cold breeze of misery.