Chapter 7: Unsteady

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A/N: I honestly feel so betrayed. I had to take a break from writing. Jason strung us along so we would watch. He purposefully strung their relationship in our faces before unnecessarily killing her. She could have gone into hiding, Clarke could have thought she was dead but she could've been hiding somewhere. Death wasn't necessary. I honestly feel like this happens all the time with queer characters and I should of expected it but for a show that held themselves so highly when it comes to lgbt representation. They fucked up. And I will never forgive Jason rothenberg for killing her the way he did. If she HAD to die, it should have been a prideful death fit for the great Uniter of the 12 clans. For the great heda.

Lexa

@ Lexa woods : interview with the amazing Stella Jax

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@ Lexa woods : interview with the amazing Stella Jax. I talked about how my book will be a very slow burn and won't be released any time soon, how my shows doing. And she even forced a little bit about my love life out of me ;)

      I quickly typed into Twitter at the red light. An interview I did a couple hours before was being released. And honestly I was uncomfortable. Not only was my mind on Clarke the whole interview, I'd read what happened during the accident and couldn't believe such a strong girl was playing my clueless and tragic character, but Jax always pushed the most out of the celebrities she interviewed. She would ask just the right questions and you would have no choice but to answer them truthfully or Else she would pull receipts and confront you about it making you look stupid. She asked me about my disappearing act and made an insensitive remark about it not being just about my dog.. And I quickly said I needed a break. She asked if I met up with a certain someone, and I forced a smile and changed the subject.. Making it look like there was someone. Honestly I was tired.

Raven sat next to me typing away, probably talking to one of her many love conquest.. She found out the man she loved was soon to be engaged to another woman a couple months ago.. He disappeared, at least that's what she told me.  Ever since then our apartments have become motel 6 with the amount of boys and girls filing in and out. But I don't mind. She's my best friend. And no matter how much I deny it. I love her. She sort of forced herself into my life but without her I would probably be in a mental institution somewhere.

Flashback:  (trigger warning :I.E self harm, suicide mentions)

Lexa sat on the floor of the hospital room. She tried to hurt herself again. She didn't want to die, no, that would be the easy way out. She wanted to suffer. Suffer for killing costia, suffer for causing her sister so much pain, suffer for making her brother loose his smile. Suffer for hurting Aden. She scratched at her wrist feeling the need to cut again. The room was dark, the nurse that was there to make sure she didn't hurt herself was asleep. The sat with her knees pressed against her chest scratching at her veins. Maybe one day the sweet embrace of death would envelope her. Take her away and never return her to the sad and lonely world she so hated being a part of.

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