Behind The Lens• Clexa AU

Chapter 24:Traffic

(a/n: I write this chapter with the heaviest heart. I'm one of those people that say they're gonna let someone go and never do, I make excuses for them. But today I let go of the girl I could've sworn I loved.. And it hurts.. Also don't hate me, please)

Clarke sat in her bed, with her knees pressed against her chest, angry tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe it, not only was the man she loved cheating on her the entire time but her best friend tried to keep it from
her.

Sobs raked her entire body and the light in her phone wouldn't stop going off.

Lexa, Octavia, Lexa, Octavia, octavia , octavia octavia.

The missed calls wouldn't stop appearing on her phone.. She let them all ring out.

Her mind wasn't with her Body. Her soul managed to float above her. She wasn't herself. The anger didn't allow her to be. Months crying over her father, but mostly over Finn. She let him die, she was so focused on saving her father that was already dead.. She ignored the cries of Finn. She beat herself up for months. But now, a side of her was so glad, so glad she let him rot.

Her phone rung once more, Lexa... She threw the phone towards the wall, smashing it. She knew it wasn't her fault, but she wasn't thinking clearly..

Clarke changed out of her clothes and went to pour herself a glass of wine. Something told her to turn on the tv.

A documentary was on, and Clarke wanted to take her mind off of her anger.. Sitting down in front of the tv she took small sip.

Octavia was always there for her, but Clarke always protected her, not the other way around. Octavia was a sheltered girl who barely knew the harsh ways of the world before she met Clarke. And she tried to keep her that way. So maybe she couldn't blame Octavia for thinking keeping this from her was a better idea. But it still hurt that she rather her live with that pain, the other.

Clarke's shattered phone lit up once more, and as she got up, finally deciding she would answer.. The documentary was interrupted by a news segment.

Famous author and screenwriter Lexa Woods and veterinarian Doctor Raven Reyes were in a car accident on the George Washington bridge. Details yet to be disclosed but it seems to be a one party crash, more information coming to you tonight.

Clarke's face paled. All anger no longer with her.. Lexa, Raven, car accident.

The only words her brain processed and the ones that hit her hardest. Why were they out driving this late. Where they coming to see Clarke. Questions filled her alcohol consumed mind as she searched for her broken phone to call a taxi. She slipped the first pair of shoes that she found and made her way down the steps of her apartment.

Her mind, numb.. Her legs moved aimlessly. She hopped in the taxi and almost forgot to tell him the address.

All she could think about was how she would never forgive herself if something happened to them. Something about the situation pushed a sense of guilt into her vulnerable mind.

If Clarke had never left, maybe they wouldn't of either. If Clarke hadn't of left maybe she could have stopped them. Every scenario she ran through made her feel guiltier.

They were fine, they were great 10 hours ago.. And now all of this.. An earthquake of pain and guilt shook the foundation of their new found friendship. But that was because they were all damaged goods in their own way. Each girl had their own piece of the past they couldn't let go of..

The thought of Lexa and Raven in trouble shook Clarke out of her anger so easily.. Because she'd already been through this.. The pain of hoping your love will awake from the harsh impact of the car ahead. The hoping it's all a dream and that you'll wake up next to the love of your life.