chae minhee started to slow down her pace as she eventually became out of sight from the dark eyes of kim taehyung. sighing for the thousandth time, she leaned against the wall.
"he really doesn't know what he's doing to himself."
minhee was a quiet girl who suffered mentally on a daily basis from an uncontrollable sadness. she wasn't always like this, though. she used to be somebody who was bursting with happiness and always smiled at those around her. what went wrong, may you ask? nothing.
but one day, she just changed. stopped smiling. stopped interacting with others. rarely spoke. her world gradually fell apart, for no reason. she lost her friends, her parents became distant from her, and she received little love. perhaps it was her fault, yet she still was confused. why did she suddenly change?
everything started to get worse, with minhee having a constant voice in her head insulting her; criticising her every move.
chae minhee broke into a thousand, glass shattering pieces.
when people are ready to, they change. they never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. you can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.
that's why minhee was determined for nobody to stop her from suicide. she couldn't take the loneliness.
thinking about what she attempted to do, and failed, she started choking back her sobs. don't cry in public, please don't..
but her suicide attempt played vividly in her mind with the same voice taunting her.
"you're too weak to actually die."
shaking, she knew she was breaking down again. nobody was around; it was eerily silent. so she let it all out. unaware of kim taehyung turning the corner, startled with what he saw.
a high-pitched scream was echoed throughout the abandoned street. minhee ran a trembling hand through her short, messy hair.
"I can't do this."
"of course you can't. but you're such a coward, that you can't even recover."
screaming again, she slid down the wall crying openly. the tears were like prisoners escaping from a prison; flooding down freely, making her head throb.
flashback
stepping up to the roof top of the tallest building she could find, chae minhee took a deep breath.
then she dropped.
like a bird, she soared at first. before she started falling, with the ground gradually getting nearer and nearer.
but somebody cushioned her fall; prevented her from breaking every bone in her entire body. that somebody was later her first love, who eventually broke her heart after repairing it whole beforehand.
she was crying, sobbing and screaming at the same time, hitting the person hard against his chest, cursing repeatedly. she eventually fell unconscious, yet she didn't know how. she was glad to be away from the world for a while, though.
when she woke up, her parents and friends were surrounding her, looking at her with disappointment clearly shown in their eyes. they pitied her, and minhee knew she should have died right there and then.
end of flashback.
taehyung did not pity her. he knew what it was like to be pitied and felt sorry for – and it was horrible.
slowly, yes, slowly, he walked silently over to the fragile girl who was rocking her body backwards and forwards, trying to calm herself down. pulling her into a warm embrace, he stayed there with her for a while, trying to heal her. chae minhee, for the first time in years, felt safe. eventually she stopped crying, while her tears were still drying on taehyung's black sweatshirt.
"I think about dying but I don't want to die. not even close. in fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. there's so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I'm still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it." she whispered, only so the boy hugging her could hear.
"what's your name?" he whispered back, still wanting to know the girls name.
"chae minhee. what's yours?"
"kim taehyung."
"kim taehyung, I don't have a reason to live."
"I don't either. how about you be mine, and I'll be yours?"
"sure."
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