Having Powers

The Forgiveness Project; Part 2

When Sam forgave Andie, her sister, we met back at the café. Andie was sitting in Sam's lap, looking annoyed.

"Forgiveness really does work AJ, I forgave Andie now look at us." Sam said.

"Can I go play with my friends now?" asked Andie.

"No!" Sam stopped for a while. "Forgiveness is a nice thing AJ"

"Can I at least go to the bathroom Andie?"

"Quiet I'm talking." Sam said poking Andie's face.

"Sam, Andie's there for you every day, I mean my father couldn't get out of here fast enough. He's probably halfway home by now." I said.

There was a silent pause, I was looking at my hands and went to look over at Sam when I saw my father walk in the café. Speak of the devil. It was an awkward pause before I decided to talk to him.

"I uh, I thought you left?" I said intertwining my fingers together looking down at the light grey wood flooring.

"I did. I was leaving and I was about half way home when I looked at the letter and remembered that you said that you didn't want to be angry anymore. I know what you all are to AJ, I just need to borrow her for one minute. If that's okay?" He said as he turned to look at Erica. I did the same, and she gave a small nod, then I got up and walked outside the café with my father. We walked over to a nearby table and I went to reach for the chair to sit down, when he pulled it out for me. I looked at him briefly before siting down.

"You're there for your new family aren't you? What did they do that I didn't do?" I said quietly.

"You never did anything AJ, it was all me. I couldn't provide comfort for you in a lightning storm. Instead I blew every paycheck, instead of providing food for the refrigerator. And when you don't provide things for your family, you start not showing up. And when you start not showing up, it begins to feel like leaving, until you do. These people believe that I am capable of something, and they believe in me."

"Who are you?" I asked my voice partially cracking from holding back my emotions.

"I found a job, and I've managed to keep it." He said with a slight mails on his face.

After a short pause and looking away from him with tears beginning to show in the brim of my eyes, I spoke up; "You found a job?"

"I did." He said, nodding slightly.

"Your job was to stay. You don't think I had it in me to allow my father to grow?" I sniffled before continuing. "Look, thank you for telling me your side. Erica thinks that if I forgive you it'll bring me peace, and she's usually right about these things. But I don't see how she is, and I can't. Your job was to stay."

I got up out of the chair and stood behind it. I was crying, and feeling broken. Before I felt a slight relief wash over me. "Wow..." I stated.

"What?" He asked.

"I've been angry for so long, I'm not angry anymore." I said sniffling and attempting to wipe away the tears falling from my eyes onto my face. I took a deep breath and looked at him from behind the chair before starting to walk back into the café. "Thank you for coming and I-I hope you get home okay."

I walked into the café where Sam was waiting for me at the door from the inside. I walked over to Erica, the tears now uncontrollably streaming down my face. Tommy held me close to him and kissed me on the forehead. I intertwined our fingers together. I looked over to Erica, "I'm sorry. I failed. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him."

"I never expected that AJ. That kind of forgiveness, doesn't come easy." She said nodding her head in the direction I came from.

"What do you want form me?" I said crying again.

"AJ... did you forgive yourself?" Erica looked at me with worry in her eyes.

I let go of Tommy's hand and ran into Erica's arms. I never thought that forgiving someone could not only be hard to do, but bring me so much heartbreak, and pain. As time went on, I never forgave myself for what happened. I couldn't forgive myself, it was almost impossible to do. But every now and then, I would begin to hurt, and I knew Erica, Sam, Tommy, and yes, even Taylor, would be there for me when I need them.

Always.