CLOSER | H.S.

41.

Harry's pov.

"Your secret's safe with me."

One Direction - Why Don't We Go There

-

I woke up the next day rather early, about eight in the morning. Valerie was already out of bed, which didn't surprise me. I sat up on her cosy mattress, looking around on the dim lit room. On the table, where she kept her painting supplies, I saw a hair tie, exactly what I was looking for. I crawled all the way over there to get it, then quickly tied a bun on the top of my head.

I wanted to see if she was okay, last night must have been rough on her. But I've also never been alone in her room, it was so interesting, I had to fight the urge to look around.

I got out of her room and went straight to the living room, where I heard a TV on and smelt coffee. Her house never smells like coffee. She is definitely shaken up.

Valerie was sat on her couch, with her legs crossed. The TV was on, but she wasn't looking at it. She had this blank expression on her face, looking down at a random spot on the floor.

I noticed the mug in her hand, that hasn't been sipped. "Hey", she said when she noticed my presence, not looking at me.

"Hello", I said carefully. I sat slowly next to her, touching my chest on her side so she could nestle. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm..." She trailed off and looked at me. "Washing your towels."

I exhaled sharply in a quick laugh. "Thanks, but you didn't have to do that", I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Her hair had the most amazing scent, which I found out what it was after looking at her shampoo bottle yesterday: bamboo sap, apparently.

"It's all right, I'm just... Occupying", she shook her head and looked at the TV for what it seemed to be the first time. "I didn't know they were still airing that."

I didn't know what exactly was it that they were playing and I didn't care. She was acting really strange. "We need to talk about yesterday", I started, but she didn't even flinch. "How do you feel? Do you feel depressed? Do you even want to talk about it?"

She appeared to be overwhelmed with all the questions. "Uh- No, I don't feel depressed. I just feel weird, like I'm not myself any more."

"That's okay, it's normal", I tried to comfort her. The mug was still untouched and I guessed it would stay that way. "What else do you feel?"

She took her time to think and figure out an answer. "I can't really describe it", she awkwardly shifted on her seat, rubbing her back that was only covered by a thin layer of pyjama against my bare chest. "Now that I think about it, it was really you or him. I actually did save your life", the corners of her mouth raised into a weak smile.

I smiled back at her, toothless. "You did", I rubbed her back.

"I felt so powerful, but it was horrible. It was a horrible sight. I'm still scared."

"Can I have a sip of that?" I asked her and she gave me the mug filled with coffee. I took a long sip, and I was found with immediate regret. That was the worst coffee I've ever tasted. "Uh- What are you scared of?" I cleared my throat, then cleaned my mouth with my shoulder. Thankfully, she wasn't looking at me, so I was free to make any displeased expression I want.

"Of what will happen to him, to me, to you", she shook her head. "I know I'm going to pay for this some time."

"Do you believe in God?"

"That's a difficult question for me, I have serious doubts. But still, I don't exclude the possibility of Him", she was still looking at the TV and I was sure she had no idea what was going on there. She was caught up in her own thoughts, looking extremely smart while doing so. I was just happy she was sharing this much with me, something that I don't think she has done, ever. "Do you?" She suddenly looked at me, with her big brown eyes not looking so innocent any more. Somehow I knew she would never be innocent ever again.