Someone loves me? (bxb)

Chapter One - Re-written

Darkness....All i could see was darkness...All i feel is pain...All i hear is emptiness....Is this how it feels to die? I wonder if my life had any meaning at all...No one needed me..No one wanted me...No one loved me...

I awoke abruptly from my sleep, gasping for air. The pain in my back was intense and tears formed in my eyes. Suddenly the cell door slammed open with a large BANG. Terrified, I stared at the now open door. It was the Doctor. His eyes were bloodshot, his chin had collected hair from days of neglect and the clothes he was wearing were days old. This was an unusual sight. The Doctor usually tries his best to look like the perfect upstanding citizen. Probably to hide his dirty secret, the THING that nobody must know about. The very thing that would ruin him if it got out. Me.

With quick steps he rushed towards me and yanked me up on my feet. I gasped as the pain suddenly increased but quickly steadied myself and bit my lip in order to not scream.

"Let's go, boy" He took hold of my arm and dragged me out to the long and narrow hallway.

The pain in my back pulsated and was blurring my vision but i knew i had to pull it together if i didn't want this to be an especially torturous session. I took a few deep breaths and focused on staying conscious. As we walked down the hallway my eyes wandered up on the pictures that was neatly hanging on the walls. Pictures of young boys dressed up as dolls. They had soulless, tired eyes. They reminded me much of a sharks eyes.

There was always one particular boy whom my eyes fell upon. The boy in the bright blue sailor uniform. He was sitting down in a red armchair with his hands in his lap. The Doctor, standing behind him with one hand in his vest pocket and the other on the boy's shoulder. There was something about that boy that captivated me. Maybe it was his eyes. His eyes were the only pair that had an undying flame and determination in them. Maybe it was his glowing skin or his golden locks or maybe it were so simple that he was no longer under the Doctors control that made me unable to look away from him. He no longer needed to feel the back of his hand, the immense pain and crying himself to sleep every night, wondering when he was going to die. He was free, i was not. I felt my heart quenching.

The Doctor suddenly stopped. Opened the door to his chambers and tossed me inside. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. I knew the drill. Take off my clothes, kneel and cross my wrists behind my back. I felt the familiar sting of the old rope twisting the skin on my wrists. I winced.

"Do you know why you are here, trash?" I nodded meekly, keeping my head down. The Doctor took hold of my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. He brought his face closer to mine and flashed his yellow tainted teeth in a grin. I was shaking of fear. By pure reflex, i closed my eyes. He let my chin go and gave me an backhand that made my vision temporarily disappear and flung my frail body across the cold wooden floor. He walked over to my body and pressed his dirty penny loafer down on my head.

"If you close your eyes at me again, I will break your kneecap. Is that understood, boy?" I knew he wasn't making empty threats. He broke my collarbone once because I tripped in the hallway and accidentally knocked into him.

"Y-Yes, Doctor. I-I understand. I'm sorry"

I trembled in fear. I tried so hard but I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. The cold floor made me so cold, the pain in my back and cheek was throbbing. What could i have possibly done to deserve this suffering?

The Doctor removed his shoe and pulled me up in a sitting position. He wiped my tears with his smelly silk dress shirt. He walked over to the polished queen sized bed and sat down. He unbuckled his pants and pulled down his zipper. I felt a big lump in my throat and my stomach turned and did backflips. I knew what was about to happen and I mentally prepared myself to withstand the torture. The Doctor licked his lips and smirked.

"Well, boy. Come here and prove your worth" I quietly nodded and crawled on my knees until I sat in front of him. My breathing was rapid and I felt the panic crawling up from my stomach to my throat. I tried my best to swallow it back down, took a few, discreet, deep breaths and leaned in to what would become one of the worst sessions so far.