Willa & the Extraordinary Internship

CH. 33

As she fell asleep that night, Willa's half-conscious thoughts drifted to Cyn. Perfect Cyn who always knew the right thing to say and what to wear. She couldn't help but feel like she'd let Cyn down. It felt like Stockholm Syndrome; the victim feeling beholden to their captor. She shifted in Nate's arms, trying to get comfortable, but no matter what she tried, she couldn't.

Finally, giving up, she wriggled out of his hold, which was no mean feat when his heavy arm was draped across her waist. In the silvery light of the moon, she tiptoed her way to the bedroom door and slipped out, holding her breath so she didn't wake him up.

She gingerly pulled the bedroom door shut behind her, wincing when it emitted a sharp creak. She could only relax her stance when she was in the living room. Willa flicked on a table lamp next to the couch and by the dim light, she curled up against the armrest. Her phone lay on the table next to the lamp, begging her to pick it up and stalk Maryam some more.

It was stupid, but she almost missed Cyn, too. Was this hindsight? Rose-tinted lenses? She sighed, bunching her legs together and drawing them to her chest. Nate's cat peered at her curiously as it padded across the floor, tail swishing with an alertness that it had no business having at this hour of the night.

As if it knew that she needed the comfort, the cat shimmied up the couch and plopped into her lap, the vigor of his tail calming when she obligingly stroked his back.

"Can't sleep?"

Willa glanced up, smiling ruefully when she saw a sleep-tousled Nate standing in front of her. "I tried to be quiet."

"I know." He yawned widely and smoothed down the top of his hair, groaning when it refused to lay flat. "I felt the mattress move."

"Sorry."

"It's all right." Stifling another yawn he came over and sat down next to her. "Wanna talk about it?" At her surprised look, he reached out and tapped the side of her head. "I can practically hear you thinking," he said gently.

"Sorry," she apologized again.

"Don't be sorry." Nate laid his hand on top of her knee. "Just tell me how I can help."

She didn't want to tell him. Her relationship with Cyn and Maryam was pre-Nate. Anything she told him would just sound like childish, petulant whining; a grown woman reciting a list of grievances going back years. But his searching eyes convinced her.

"I'm having second thoughts about the book."

"Why?" Puzzled, he removed his hand, placing it in his own lap.

"It's like," Willa began, not sure where to start, "I really want it more than anything, but at the same time, I just feel so...so ugly about it. Like I'm doing something wrong. I don't like feeling like that."

"Why does it feel wrong?"

"My friend, Cyn, the one I mentioned disagreed with my story?" At his confirming nod, she continued. "She thinks the story's main character is based on her."

Please don't think Cyn and me are like Paige and you, she silently willed.

"Is she?" Nate was still looking at her, his face sweetly concerned, but there was a faint hint of iciness in the two words.

"She thinks so," Willa replied.

Nate fell silent, his hands fidgeting in his lap like he wasn't sure where to put them. Maybe he wanted to take Willa's hand but didn't know how to.

Willa wished she was brave enough to reach out and take his hand, instead.

"That's why you told them you weren't friends anymore?" he said finally, cocking his head to the side like he was trying to make sense of it all.