CH. 41

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The rest of the week passed slowly, and even though Willa had sent the manuscript to Jackie days ago, she was more nervous than she had been while writing it.

"Don't worry so much," Nate advised, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as the couple walked through the mall's Barnes & Noble.

Willa's face wrinkled into an unhappy pout. "How can I help it?" She paused, running her finger along the spine of a book in a vertical stroke. "I'm dying to get an answer from her."

"She'll reply to you when she's good and ready."

Willa knew it was true, but it didn't help to ease her nerves. She eyed the novels on the shelf, deciding against picking any of them up for a closer look. "Come on, let's go find your story," she said.

His arm tightened around her neck and she smiled, feeling his excitement even if he was too modest to boast.

"I can't believe it's in stores already," he said, voice low and thick with emotion. "It feels like...like a dream."

"Do you feel like your past kind of tarnished the moment?" Willa asked.

Nate's lips pursed. "What do you mean?"

The pair resumed their stroll through the bookshelves, this time without intermittent stops to peruse the new releases.

"Like everything with Paige diminished this, your achievements, your story."

The scent of coffee hit Willa's nostrils and she inhaled, sucking in the smell of roasted beans and frothy milk. A few yards away, there was a crowd of people gathered around the coffee counter.

Nate gave her a wry grin. "It would be naive to say the past didn't matter, but it does. The past always matters."

He nibbled on his lower lip. "I don't like the way that I got here—the journey—but I'm where I want to be. And even if I'm not okay with how I got here, I have to be. Because life isn't fiction. I can't wait for the sequel and hope it's better. One life is all I get. I can't spend it mired in my own anger and regret over the way that things played out." His lips curved into a bittersweet smile. "Every story has its villains and its plot devices and its conflict."

"That's pretty, uh, zen of you."

"The way you said that makes me think you wish my answer had been different," said Nate.

Willa couldn't explain it, but part of her was bothered that Nate was so okay with everything. But it felt dumb to tell him that she wished he was more mad about things. "No," she denied. "It's smart, what you're doing. Really good for your mental health."

Nate hummed. "Mhm."

They wandered together toward the center aisle, where the publisher promoted books were usually given center-stage. "I see it!" Willa exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Oh my gosh. Nate!"

Her hands dove around a paperback, clutching it tightly.

"I'm surprised there's even one left," he said, eying it critically. "After last night's midnight release I kind of thought they'd be sold out."

Still, he reached out and accepted the book she offered him, a small smile playing on his lips. "It looks good," Nate said. "Feels good to hold in my hands, too."

"I want to buy it."

Nate's head turned to her in surprise. "I can give you a copy for free."

"Yeah, but I'm your girlfriend," Willa teased, reaching for his hand. She laced her slim fingers through his and squeezed tight. "I want to support your work."

Nate weighed the book in his hand for a moment, then shrugged and handed it to her. "Okay."

Once the book has been paid for, it's weight nestled inside Willa's old-fashioned envelope purse. It jostled her hip and upper thigh as she walked out of the store with Nate.

"Home?" he asked. "Or we could grab something to eat?"

Willa liked the way he said home, like it belonged to them both. Like they both could lay their head down in the same place and wake up together the next morning. It flustered her in the best way possible, sending tingles shooting down her legs.

"Home," she agreed, not entirely sure where she was agreeing to go. Did home mean his house or hers?

As it turned out, she discovered the answer in fifteen minutes. Nate pulled into the parking lot of his apartment, scoring the coveted spot right in front of the apartment door. "Home sweet home!" he said, putting the car into park.

Willa smiled as she unclipped her seatbelt. "Nate, I—" She stopped herself, chewing her lower lip.

His head tilted and his eyes stared into hers inquisitively. "Yeah?"

"Um, nothing. I forgot what I was going to say."

His hand released the gear stick and hovered in the air for a moment like he was trying to decide whether to place it over Willa's. She kept waiting for him to do so, but instead he exhaled deeply and toyed with the keys for a second before pulling them out.

"You sure?" Nate asked, voice just above a whisper. He held the keys in a light clasp.

"Yeah. It'll come to me later," said Willa, trying to play it off. She gave him a casual shrug.

"If it's important," said Nate with a hint of impatience.

"What?" Willa opened the car door. At her move, Nate did the same.

Two car door slams later, Nate ducked his head. "You know what they say, it'll only come back to you if it's important."

And with that, he clutched the keys in his fist and strode away, leaving Willa gaping after him.

She hadn't meant to almost drop the L word on him. Luckily she'd caught herself in time, but Nate seemed to resent her for not going through with it. It wasn't like he could know what she had wanted to say, right? It had been an impulse, a whim. That was why she hadn't gone through with her declaration.

"Are you, like, mad at me for some reason?" Willa tried to ask, but her phone droned out her voice as it emitted a sharp, shrill ring.

Nate turned around. "Better get that. It'll be Jackie." His hand settled around the door handle of his apartment building. "Coming?"

At Willa's nod, he held the door open for her. She jimmied around in her purse for the phone while walking towards him. "Thanks," she said. A second later, phone pressed against her ear, "Hello?"

"Hi, Willa." Jackie's tone gave nothing away. "Is now a good time?"

Nate's eyes pierced into hers. Is it her? he mouthed.

Willa gave him a tiny nod.

It was showtime.

Author's Note: Hmm, what could Willa have been about to say? Has it been too soon? Anyone wish she had said it?

We are getting really close to the end here, folks, and I want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. I appreciate every single one of you. 💕✨❤️

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