chapter thirty-six // sets me down in your warm arms.

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Mia's POV

I sit with my knees pulled to my chest in the airport terminal, seated in an uncomfortable black chair right outside my gate. My eyes are stuck upon the large plane that's being set-up to take me all the way back to California.

I never thought in a million years I'd be right here, heading back home, causing the last three weeks of my life to be a total waste of time. But that thought doesn't sit right in my chest. 

If it wouldn't have been for the last three weeks, I wouldn't get to really know myself. I've grown up more than I thought possible. I've learned things about myself that I never knew before. I've become this new woman. 

I just never expected the last three weeks to end up how they did. When I accepted Louis Tomlinson's ridiculous suggestion, I wasn't anticipating all that I got out from it; a tight-knit family that made me feel so unbelievably loved; and I certainly wasn't expecting for that blue-eyed boy to wriggle his way into the depths of my heart and latch on. 

My heart clenches as Louis' face enters my mind; a face that I'm never going to see ever again. As I sat in the taxi cab on the way to the airport, I thought long and hard about going to the concert, just to say goodbye, but I knew that it wouldn't end in a simple goodbye. 

The love I feel for Louis makes me absolutely terrified; it doesn't make sense in the slightest. He's a famous celebrity and I'm the complete opposite. As of right now, I've got nothing. The uneasiness that Louis makes me feel is not a feeling I enjoy. It's the same reason I stuck with Shiloh through all these years. Anything else just scares the hell out of me. 

So, I thought it'd be best if I just return home to California and spend some more time figuring out what it is that I want in life; more time to figure out who I am. Plus Louis is on tour and he's busy with his career, why would there be time in his busy life for a girl like me? 

There wouldn't and, frankly, there shouldn't. 

"You look nervous dear," A frail voice pulls me from my thoughts. I glance up to see a gentle old lady giving me a friendly smile as she takes a seat beside me, "You must have something very important waiting for you when you land," She gives me a smile, her features full of wisdom

If only she knew there was absolutely nothing waiting for me when I get off this plane. I'll have to do the walk of shame back home, apologize to my parents for just running off like that, and tell all of my friends about my failed trip to get Shiloh back. 

"I'm actually leaving everything that's important here," I admit, just needing someone to talk to and honestly could care less if it's some strange old lady here in this airport terminal.

Her features cloud up in concern, looking very much like your stereotypical grandmother. She reaches out to pat my leg with one of her wrinkly hands. I bite on my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. 

I've never felt more alone than I do at this very moment. I've always had Shiloh, and when he walked out, Louis waltzed right in. Now I have neither of them waiting for me. I don't have Shiloh's familiarity and I don't have Louis' protectiveness.

I just have myself, something that should feel so empowering, but just feels wrong.

"Everything will work out in your favor, dear, I can tell. Your body is tense, but your eyes are at ease. You'll do the right thing in the end," She gives me comforting advise, sounding just the right amount of insane to lull the knots in my gut. 

I shoot her a grateful smile as I rest my chin on my knees, my eyes flashing up to the clock on the wall. 

Only two more minutes until I walk onto that plane, leaving everything I ever thought I wanted.

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