Chapter 1

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Raca


Raca's classmates milled about her, chatting about the upcoming party "everyone" was invited to. Of course, that "everyone" didn't include her.

"I heard Natasha's planning on pranking Chase when he gets to the party," one voice said.

"Really? No way! She wouldn't," a second voice responded. Raca's classmates soon erupted into a debate on Natasha's actions.

Sighing at their simple-minded thoughts, Raca returned her focus to her book, though she wasn't reading. Her thoughts were immersed in the friendships her peers had with one another and how easily they could talk. Friend: such an interesting word. It was something she had never called anyone since her. For a moment, she let herself sink into her memories.

"We're BFFs, right?"

"What?" Raca replied, confused.

"Best-Friends-Forever," she explained. "That's what we are, right?"

"Yeah! Best-Friends-Forever!"

But things changed quickly. One summer was all it took.

"Hey!" Raca called to her best friend, who was talking and laughing with a group of girls all wearing heavy makeup and brand-name clothes.

"Um, hi," the friend said when she spotted Raca, not bothering to hide her disdain.

"Wow, you look... different," Raca observed, taking in the makeup her best friend wore. The girl standing in front of her starkly contrasted the tomboy she climbed trees with a few months earlier.

"Who's this?" One of the girls sneered. "Your friend?"

"Ha, as if I'd be friends with someone like her."

Raca blinked and blinked again. The words settled over her like a suffocating blanket. Finally, it dawned on her what they meant.

Just then, the school bus arrived, and all the students clamored on. Raca was the last one on. She found an empty seat near the front by herself. Tears stung her eyes and choked her throat, but she did not cry. She braved the first day of school. And when she got home, she threw herself onto her bed and cried. And cried. Until there was nothing left but an empty shell.

"FRESHMEN DISMISSED," a voice boomed over the intercom, jerking Raca from her trance. Shaking away her thoughts, she picked up her backpack and left for the door.

Alone, Raca walked out the door. Alone, Raca got on the bus home. Alone, Raca walked home from the bus stop.

"Hi, honey. How was your day?" Raca's mother greeted her as she entered the house.

"Fine," Raca lied.

"I'm sure you had a great day with your friends," the mom continued. As far as she was concerned, her daughter was perfectly full on friends. Her version of Raca's life couldn't have been further from the truth. "I remember back when I was your age. My friends and I would hang out every day after school and-"

"I have a lot of homework to do," Raca interrupted. Before her mother could reply, she had shut the door to her room and was safely inside where she didn't have to talk to anyone.

Truth be told, it wasn't that Raca couldn't talk to anyone or she didn't know how to. It was more like she didn't want to. After learning her lesson, she didn't tell others her stories or secrets. Nothing her peers talked about interested her and there was no one she found interesting or compelling. So she faded into the background. She was that quiet, straight-A girl in class who sat alone with a book when everyone else was with their friends. Raca hated herself for it, but it was the only way she wouldn't be hurt again.

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