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I approached my dark stone house with a game plan. Dad normally watches football until 5, then goes out to get beer with his high school friends. The bartender cuts him off at 11, that's when he will call me to pick him up with my car.
That's the problem. I'm in deep shit, because I'm basically his designated driver to him. That's our deal. Mom gives me up to stay in Massachusetts with her boyfriend, he takes me in as a bargain- a deal. He pays for school and let's me reside there if I get him out of the trouble he gets himself into. It doesn't matter if I have plans, if I'm in the middle of something, I have to do it. Or the deal is broken.
I mentally prepared myself to handle this the best way I could. I checked my watch. 10:49 pm.
I would call my sister, but she's away in college. She's lucky she got out of it while she could. It's almost like she left me behind in the midst of hell, and it hurts. It's not like she could come save me though. Nobody can.
My phone set off its ringtone. I looked at the screen with a certain expectancy of who it was. The screen lit up with the title I guessed. Dad.
I answered and slowly put the shaking phone up to my ear.
"Allen?"
"I'm gon' need you to get me outta here now." He grumbled in his husky voice. This was his third time being cut off from the same bar this week.
"Hey I don't think I can tonight. I- crashed my car. It's totaled, but I'm paying for it, don't worry!"
I envisioned him- growling, spitting, cursing through his teeth like a sailor. He had mad anger issues, just issues in general, too.
"What the hell do you mean?"
"Dad-"
"Don't call me that." He spat.
"Don't call me anything except for my name. You, little miss, think you have the damn right to come into my house, eat all of my shit, use up all of my electricity, and take up space- with nothing in return?"
Tears were streaming down my face now, my fingers trying to catch all of them.
"Well you can pack up your bags by the time I'm home, or you're going to wish you hadn't fucked me over."
This was it. There was absolutely nothing I could do now, so I did what he told me to do.
I ran into the house and to my room, opening the creaky wooden door. I picked up my school bag and piled it with clothes from my dresser.
Where am I about to go? What the hell do I do?
I pushed my round wire-rim glasses up my nose, slinging the bag around my shoulder and running out.
I want to kick something- I want to break something.
My body went into a mindless, feeling less rage. I grabbed an old lawn ornament and smashed it into the ground, watching the stray pieces fly through the night sky. I stomped over to the neighbors yard, grabbing a lawn gnome and chunking it into their stone wall. My chest huffed. I struggled to breathe- now hyperventilating. I was breaking into a crying fit, not that I could feel it. My mind is numb, my body is numb.
Cursing, crying, grunting, flailing.
I crumbled down onto the ground.
I want to feel something.
