Journey To Safety

Wasted

This chapter may be slightly triggering. I have no idea. Just a warning everyone.

Is she okay? Do I ask her if she is okay?  Elliot asked himself while standing in the kitchen. Olivia was resting in the other room. It's been three weeks since the attack. He doesn't understand why she is acting as if nothing ever happened. Has it not sunk in or has she been hiding her pain from me? Elliot wondered to himself. 

"Hey I'm going to get in the shower, okay?" Olivia yelled from the guest bedroom. 

"Yeah okay." He replied. 

Elliot nestled down into the couch until Olivia came out of the shower. She walked out of the guestroom door with a towel wrapped around her body and a towel wrapping her hair. She leaned against the door frame and undid the head towel to dry her beautiful brown hair. 

"I think it's time." She tole El.

"Time for what?" He replied. 

"Time to go back to work."

"Are, are you sure? I mean, Olivia."

"Yes, I'm sure. I have to stay here in this house all day long and it's starting to drive me insane. I can't stay locked up here forever. I need to do something."

"Okay well-" Elliot paused with a blank stare in Olivia's direction. 

"I don't want to go right back into it, into it. Just desk duty or paperwork for Christ sake! Anything to keep me from being stuck here."

"Tomorrow do you want to come with me to the precinct?"

"Yeah. Thank you." She said as she turned and went into the bedroom. 

~~~

"Are you sure you want to do this?"Elliot asked her while her opened the passenger door for her and the precinct. 

"Yes. I'm sure." Olivia replied. She stepped out of the car wearing a black fitted suit with and white button down shirt underneath. She adjusted her jacket and walked into the squad room with Elliot by her side. 

They enter the station not know what to expect. All Elliot wanted was to protect Olivia and keep her safe. All Olivia wanted to do was keep her mind off of everything. 

"There's my girl!" Fin said as he rose to his feet to greet her with a hug. "How are you baby?" 

"I'm alright Fin." She replied with a small giggle. 

"Hey Liv. Doing all right?" Nick said as he reached in for a hug. 

"Yeah I'm okay."

"It's good to see you Olivia." Amanda told her as she as well leaned in for a hug. 

"I just want you all to know that I am okay and I'm just going to be doing some desk work. That's all." Olivia told to the growing circle of surrounding colleagues. 

She walked back to her desk where everything was still in the same position, expect for a vase holding a beautiful bouquet of red roses with a note attached, 

I love you more than you possibly know. You are the heart of every operation. You can walk into a room and make everyone feel like they mean something. You are truly one of a kind. Keeping your head up and always remember to fight. -Johnathan Munch

Olivia read the note which brought tears to her eyes. Sitting at her desk was new. She had sat there for years and years, but having to lay in a bed and do nothing all day seemed like an equal amount of time to her. Sitting there she placed her hands on the top of the desk and brushed her fingers across, looking at the opposite desk which was Elliot's. The sound in the room began to fade, like it was just her in the room, but it wasn't. That room was full of victims, stories, phone calls, fights, and people who needed to work. 

"Nineteen year old female possible assault vic at Hudson U. Who's going?" Captain Cragen called out of his office. The sound of these words sent chills down Olivia's spine. She rotates her neck and stands up out of her chair. 

"You were right." She bent down to tell Elliot. 

"About what?" He asked. She was walking away so he immediately followed. 

"About me not being ready. Just tell people I need more time." She turned around to face him. "Thank you."

"Olivia, where are you going? Do you need me to come with you?"

"I'll be fine I'm just going home. Can I have the keys please?"

"Yeah sure, I'll have Fin drive me home." Elliot reached in his pocket to find the keys, he handed them to her and watched her walk out the door. 

~~~

Driving home. Yeah. That's what you're going to do. Just drive straight home. Olivia thought to herself behind the wheel. She pulled into the town store parking lot. She walked inside and instantly grabbed the junk food she was craving. She approached the counter.

"Will this be it ma'am?" the young man behind the cash register asked her. 

"Yeah thats-" she was trying not to but she couldn't. She couldn't helped stare at the shelves and shelves filled behind him. 

~~~

The tall, clear bottle of liquid courage sat between Olivia's thighs as she drove up to Elliot's home. She walked in and seated herself of the couch with the things she had just purchased. She opened the kit-kat bar and devoured it while an episode of Friends played in the background. That tall bottle was sitting on the kitchen counter just taunting her. 

One and a half hours later, Olivia was laying on the floor of the living room with a row of cookies in one hand and a half drank bottle of vodka in the other. Olivia didn't want to feel any of this, she didn't want to feel anymore. She took another sip. Thirty minutes later she was laying on the bathroom tile because it was cold. 

Stumbling around the house like a zombie was what she was doing now. Becoming accustomed to dizziness and blurriness was her new normal. Olivia trying stumbling to the kitchen and tripped over thin air. The glass bottle of vodka still in her hand. Her body's impact with the floor made her head pound harder. It wasn't until she had the strength to sit herself up that she realized the her left arm had crushed the bottle and broken her skin. 

She sat on the floor and watched as her own blood came out of her arm. She just sat there. The cut was deep and long with varying parts all over her forearm. She pulled one piece of glass out and stared at it. She laid it back down on her arm and just watched. 

~~~

"Hey Olivia I'm home." Elliot said as he shut the door behind him. 

"Oh! Hey honey! You should come look at this! I had oh justa tiiiiny accident and-" Olivia said drunk as ever before Elliot turned the corner and cut her off. 

"Oh my god Olivia!" Elliot ran to her. He quickly ripped the blanket hanging from the back of the couch and placed it on her arm. "What did you do?" Elliot was fearing that Olivia had done this to herself.

"I I I I fell." She struggled to get out of her mouth. 

"We need to get to to the hospital, now!" Elliot put his arms around her and picked her up. Carring her to the door, Olivia made him stop.

"I I want to tell you that you you really smell good." She laughs. "You look really good too." Elliot reached for the car keys on the counter while Olivia was in his arms. "Wait where are you going?"

"WE are going to the hospital."

"Why are WEEEE going to the...hos...pibal?"

"Because you are hurt and you are not okay."

"But it is okay!"

"What do you mean?" He asked her as he opened the car door to put her in, her still in his arms. 

"It's okay. I'm okay. We're going to be okay."