Journey To Safety

Cracks

 Why is she doing this to herself? Is this her way of grieving herself? Did she do it on purpose? Is she going to do it again? I let her go home alone, I was the one who gave her keys. She did this because of me.Elliot thought to himself as he wrapped his arm around Olivia. They were on the couch together watching a football game, or suppose to be watching it for that matter. Olivia's arm had a white bandage wrapped around it. She starred at the players while he thought to himself.

"Okay I think it's time for bed." He told her as he stood.

"Alright, if you say so." Olivia stated as she stretched out of the couch with the extra room that he provided. 

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

Olivia headed to the guest bedroom after fighting herself to get off the couch. She reached the doorway when she heard Elliot's door shut. She walked in and threw herself onto the bed. The clock read 11:27. She sat herself up and changed into her sweats which were in her closet. She laid back down on the bed trying to fall asleep to her television. 

Meanwhile, Elliot closed his door and walked straight to the dresser. He changed into sweatpants and an old NYPD sweatshirt. He rested his head onto his pillow trying to go to sleep. He couldn't get his mind off of Olivia and her well being. He laid there thinking about this woman and before he knew it, the clock read 1:34. 

What are you doing? She has to be asleep by now. It's not your fault. None of it is your fault. But I feel like its all my fault. 

Just then, Elliot heard a noise coming from the hall. He did not know what it was and sprang up to a sitting position. The door opened and the silhouette of his partner in sweatpants and a baggy shirt. He couldn't see her face but he knew it was her. She just stood there, not a single word came out of her. 

"Are you okay?" He asked her as he straightened his back. 

"Not really" The cracking voice of Olivia seemed to break both of them down inside when she took one step closer and Elliot could see her red face covered in tears.

"Come here" He told her as he moved the comforter aside so he could sit up. He sat with his feet on the floor and she sat beside him. She did not say a word at first, just buried her head into her lap. 

"I know, I know that you have been worrying about me and I don't want you too. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to see me like this." Olivia said through the cracks in her voice. Elliot put his and on her back and rubbed it while she talked into her hands. "It's not fair. It's not fair that you have to see me like this. I want to be fine.  I tried to be fine. I just, I can't."

"Look at me." He said as he lifted her head and wiped the tears from her face. "It's okay to not be fine"

Olivia started to cry more and leaned into Elliot's chest to do so. He laid down and she wrapped herself around him trying to calm down. She couldn't keep calm and he wrapped his arms around her trying to sooth her. 

Olivia's tears begin to dry but she didn't want to leave the comfort of his arms. He was calming her. He was her security blanket. How was she suppose to just let that go? 

Elliot noticed that her tears were drying and he continued to hug her and give her that sense of safety.