Dead End, A Jian Story // Book One, Complete

Burning Barriers

• Thanks for 4000!! I love you guys so much! 💕

• This chapter is intended to be short. Enjoy!

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Jc

My world was black before I fell into Kian's arms. I hear his distant voice screaming at me, telling me to wake up. I don't want to. I can see- remember- everything.

I see myself choosing my social status over Kian at the second BuzzFeed video we were making. I see the hurt and regret in Kian's eyes as I say the relationship breaking words to the camera. I see everything I've forgotten in third person and, frankly, I want to strangle myself through all of it.

I see Kian laughing and telling me that the "Andrea call" was fake. I feel the same sense of relief I felt that day as he told me.

I feel the maddening hunger of those two days spent in that random city west of the BuzzFeed building. I see myself crying myself to sleep at the thought of Kian, the guilt in my face as I seethe over my mistakes.

I review the blank spots in my memory with distaste. I've ruined us. Kian, Connor, they should hate me. They should kick me out of their lives, but they don't. I'm grateful.

Now I want to wake up.

I need to wake up.

I need to mend my mistakes and make things right.

I need to apologize to Connor.

And Kian?

I need to see him. I need to see him so that I can take his silky brown quiff in my hands and lock his soft lips with my own, as I've wanted to do for so long. I want him, and I want him badly.

Now I want to wake up.

I need to wake up.

But my eyelids weight 1000 pounds and my heart burns 1000 degrees.

I can't breathe.

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So Jc remembers everything. Joy.

-ColorMeJian