Loving Out Loud

Questions

I hated spring. Not because weather was changeable, nor because winter was gone. I hated it because everyone was happy and loved. And I was... Well... Grumpy.

The cage I've been in for 3 years now, was popularly called 'relationship'. My jailer was called Matthew. He was tall, pale, blue eyed and blonde. Handsome guy. Very charming. Very self-contained, self-centered, selfish. And everything else starting with "self". Apparently, I fell in love with him quite long ago. And I loved him for so long. But, now, he began to suffocate me.

I was not good anymore. He didn't like the way I looked. He wanted me to go to gym more often, to change my physique even more. Why? Because he had problems with weight in the past, and now he was obsessed with it.

For the past year, he has been such a pain in my soul. But I couldn't break up with him. And I didn't know why. Everything was wrong, but my heart couldn't find a way for me to run away.
Until that night.

After a fight we've had over the phone, I rushed outside. Haven't even took my phone with me. Just took the iPod and headphones from the desk. I still had make up on, from that day, skinny jeans, T-shirt and a cardigan. I was feeling good in general, but not great, because of this fight, as you could have guessed.
I was walking down the street to the cafe in the end of that street. It was a lovely night. For some reason, I felt good. I had a good feeling. But didn't know why. Everything was wrong. Everything. I walked into the cafe. And, what I saw, surprised me. It was almost full of people. That cafe was the most dead one in this part of the town. I like to call it "my part", because I lived there alone. There were only two chairs by the bar which were empty. I sat on one, internally cursing myself for not looking at the mirror before I went out. Waitress was very nice, asking me what I'll have and smiling so brightly. She had red lipstick on and my mind immediately went: "I'll have red wine."

So many thoughts were rushing through my head. Last three years were a long period of time. The main question was what will I do with my life? Job I had was good. Apartment was nice and comfy. And I was alone. Um, wait... I wasn't. Damn.

-Is this one taken?- asked the soft, deep male voice. I turned to my right. Everything went so slow in that moment.

-No, no, it's not taken.- I answered with a smile. He smiled back, sitting on a chair next to me:

-Sorry if I interrupted your thoughts...- he said with compassionate smile.
That smile... Even brighter in person than in the movies. His lips were moving seductively when he spoke. I had to try really hard to keep my "deep in thoughts" look.

-No, no, don't apologize. Actually, thank you for interrupting them.- I said with an honest smile.

He chuckled and gave me his hand:

-Tom.- he said with an amazing smile dancing around his thin lips. I shook his hand. His hands were as soft as cotton, and his touch felt... Different.

-Clara- I said with a small nod.

-Nice to meet you, Clara. You have a beautiful name.-

I blushed. You could say that's a natural reaction when Tom Hiddleston gives you a compliment. But it's still not the most flattering one, especially if it makes you look like a tomato.

-Thank you. I got it because of Clara Schumann.- I said pleasantly.

-Schumann's daughter?- he asked pulling his chair closer to me.

-Yes!- I said with a big smile.

-She was a great pianist, almost as great as he was.-

Tom was the first person in my life who instantly knew this. Who even knew who Clara Schumann was.

-Yes, exactly. Not many people know that.- I said looking at my fingers tracing the edge of a wine glass.

He smiled. I looked back at him. His look was warm. His eyes were bright and blue like the ocean, so pure and beautiful. And the burning need to swim in there was born in me, in that very moment.