Loving Out Loud

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That Friday came faster than I thought it would. Tom and I were standing at the airport, saying our goodbyes. His eyes were full with joy. But not because of me. He was happy because he was leaving. He tried to convince me how he'll miss me, how he'll be lost without me, and etc. But I could feel he was not honest. And that made me angry. Not him. I was angry with myself. How insecure I was about our relationship, about him. Yes, our relationship was young and fresh, but there was no need to be sceptical about it. Or was it...?

-I will miss you so much, darling!- Tom sang lovingly, hugging me tightly. I smiled sadly into his shoulder:

-I'll miss you too, Tom.-

He moved me slowly, so he could look me in the eyes:

-What troubles you so much, love?- he asked, stroking my cheek. I smiled weakly:

-Nothing. I'll just miss you so much.-

That lie. That word, "nothing". There was not anything more untrue than"nothing". It's always something. And it's often something big, and heavy. Heavy like that bag he was taking with him. He looked like he will leave me forever. He looked like he will never come back. He looked exactly like...

-No, Clara, stop, for God's sake don't cry!- Tom said quite loud, worry in his voice. That caught me off guard:

-I am not crying, Tom.- I said confused, but my voice betrayed me.

-Yes, darling, you are.- Tom whispered kissing away the tear from my cheek. I didn't even know I was crying. I didn't know why I was crying, neither. But, I knew he was there to soothe the pain that started to bloom inside my heart again.

Tom hugged me, kissing my hair and my face, whispering how he'll be back sooner than I think, and how he's actually glad to see how much I'll miss him, because that proves my feelings for him. But he said that in his "Shakespearean way", how he liked to call it, so I giggled into his chest, hugging him even more tight.

-I'll miss you so much, Tom. You have no idea how much...-

Tom let out a small laugh, only this time it was kind of sad laugh. He moved me back a bit, so he could take my face between his hands. His bright blue eyes found mine, as his lips slowly moved to brush over mine. The soft touch of his thin lips made me close my eyes, and just forget all the ideas of him leaving me forever.

-I will miss you more than you can imagine.- Tom whispered, resting his forehead on mine, -I will call you every day, just to remind you how much you mean to me.-

Something inside my stomach twitched. Those three words started to dance in my throat, and to climb on my tongue and...

-Mr Hiddleston, I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's time to go.- said beautiful female voice. That was Angelina, Tom's assistant-in-need, how he called her. She would jump in whenever Luke couldn't manage to do something. Right then he was with Elly in Canada, on vacation.

-I'll call you as soon as I arrive on the Continent.- Tom said kissing my cheek. I smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand in mine. Good thing I didn't ruined this moment with my stupidity.

-Have a safe flight.- I whispered, as he slowly walked away. He winked at me, pouting his lips at me as in kiss. I chuckled to myself. How could I ever thought that a big baby like Tom could do anything to hurt me?