ROBOT JESUS

Out of Retirement

Walking into the Good Samaritan Retirement Community was not unlike walking into a hotel. There was a front desk with a smiling young woman waiting behind it, wearing a helpful expression. Susan nodded her head.

"Good morning, Mary. I have a guest."

"If you can just sign in here," Mary pushed a clipboard toward Alice, who signed and printed her name.

"I see you were successful," Mary added, nodding excitedly toward Robot Jesus.

"Well, I guess you can say that. Alice and I were practically trampled on the way into the store."

"That's not what I heard," came a voice from the front room, to the left of the front desk.

Paul, an orderly, with black hair and a trimmed black beard and mustache, strode up to the group carrying a tablet computer.

He pressed play on a video displayed on the screen for the group to see.

In the video, evidently captured by the local tv news crew, it appeared that Susan tripped a man in the mad rush on the way into the store. The man skidded on his hands.

Susan squished her face at the video.

"Oh, shut that off, Paul!" Mary exclaimed from behind the front desk. "He's been playing that video all morning."

"What? You say you want me to rewind it?" Paul asked before swiping the bottom of the video to rewind the action.

"It wasn't like that," Susan said.

"Well, it sure does look like it was like that from the video," Paul added, laughing a little. "Not very Christian, now, is it?"

A group of three senior men approached from behind Paul.

"I say good job, Susan. Give them a taste of their own medicine," one said.

"Here, here," agreed another.

"And is this the much-discussed robot, is it?" Paul asked, fingering Robot Jesus's orange hunting coat.

"Leave him alone," Susan slapped Paul's hand away.

"Looks like a robot," one of the old men said, matter-of-factly.

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you," Jesus said to Paul.

"Impressive," Paul said. "Can he roll over as well?"

"Just another Cindy model with a beard," one of the old men said.

"Marketing gimmick," another added.

"Let's get out of here," Susan said and led them away from the men into the front room.

"That's all you got," Paul challenged Robot Jesus, moving in front of him and blocking his way.

"You are exhibiting signs of territorial male aggression. But here it is. I know that one day you, Paul, above all others, will not only understand, but you will carry my message."

"Programmatic dribble," Paul responded, as he moved aside to make room for Robot Jesus, who nodded sideways at Paul and then followed Susan and the others.

The front room looked like a recreation room at a mental hospital. Many tables were arranged around the room, sitting at which, elderly men and women could be seen staring and giving pause of their game playing or gossiping to crane their necks to take a look at the next new thing, Robot A.I.

"Everybody take a good long look now because I don't want you all staring and making it awkward all the time. Get it out of your system," Susan said loudly.