OPEN-BRAIN SURGERY

hello my name is i love you

hello my name is first ever boyfriend the one from the daycare center with the cheese sticking to his t-shirt and winter gloves on in the middle of the spring hello i wonder what marks i left on your heart 

—i don't quite look at those sodium heavy snacks the same way i used if that's what you mean and i've developed permanently cold hands as a result of mine always holding yours although i can't ever recall doing so more than once and that is mystery i like to look back on every once and while 

hello my name is best friend from first & second grade with the the ginger-tinted rapunzel hair in thick plaits down her back and princess pajamas underneath her school uniform hello it's been years and i saw something familiar in your toothless grin how are you 

—well i'm certainly taller now and those front teeth have grown in (more or less) i miss hugging you in the morning you smelt like the cocoa butter i saw your mother smooth over your brown skin in the car it's my favorite scent now 

hello my name is first crush from third & fourth & fifth grade me with the smile too big for my face and the always damp hands i tripped over my legs or maybe my life yesterday and i thought about that time you climbed over the steps into my island of isolation and laid with me under the sun (under the slide) when i was dying (crying) are you still like that? are you still helping people be people? 

—not professionally you should know but it's become something of a lifestyle choice for me to find the people under slides and bring them back out again (or at least keep them company for a while) 

hello it's Best Guy Friend from what eighth grade? god i'm not even sure anymore but i'm certain about most of it you know the important stuff like what we are: gym class first picks & after school snack sharers & secret love confidantes & comforts & insults & being alone together i said i was joking that time i asked you to marry me but sometimes i'm not so sure 

—funny you should mention that because i will never falter in my belief that you meant it at least for a second (you blush like lava; i never did but you did make me burnburmburn) 

hey i'm the girlfriend? i never dated you but i know you wanted me to remember the pool party? i swear the craziest shit always goes down in the water i was your mermaid and you told me you liked that and then i swum away was that alright? sometimes the condensation left on my skin makes me nostalgic for your underwater touch i kind of liked you, you know, for a girl

—i'm an accident to you but god i know what you mean the ocean turned me into a goddess and a queen 

hi it's freckles long fingers behind the back hugs destroy you with a look crystallized blue eyes & i'm back from your nightmares ready to ruin you further i hope you never forget the taste of second-hand romance and that what could have been lingers over you forever; joking; we were close, yeah? i feel like i could identify you by lines on your fingers if i had to 

—with hellish intensity you prickle your way into my heart over and over and over again; joking; yeah man it's always sunny in our relationship tell me about my dna and i'll write poetry about yours 

hi my name is perfection and woman in lavender perfume bottle i sign my name with hearts and i'm deliberate and i know you think about me before you sell your soul to sleep and i like your eyes and the way you look in those dresses & i've  got a boyfriend that you've never met but will always be better than you he's gone now though you think i can? maybe i can love you for the time being —? 

—maybe i should have learned from all the others but maybe not you know how much i like the smell of your perfume let me love you blind and something close to divine